Felicity (Part 1)

Oh Felicity! 

How I've missed this show ever since it ended in 2002. Thank goodness for the DVD series so I can continue my love fest whenever I need her in my life.

Actually it's been a couple years now that I've made it a point to go through the full series TWICE a year from beginning to end. Of course every time I watch it, it's almost as if I'm watching it for the first time. 

In case you're unfamiliar with Felicity, here's what you have to look forward to:

The story of 1998 high school graduate Felicity Porter begins with the question that most 17 year old teenagers normally ask themselves while receiving their diplomas on stage,

 "What's next??"

In comes Ben Covington, a teenage boy with whom she spent the last 4 years of her high school career wondering what he was like yet the closest she ever came to being in contact with him was when she took his blood as a donation while volunteering at a blood drive.

The mystery of his being always kept her interest until she FINALLY asked Ben to sign her yearbook at graduation. He took his time to write a message that would change Felicity's heart and mind for the rest of her life.


Instead of saying goodbye to Ben Covington that day, she asked him where he was going to go to college and as he answered, 
"New York...what about you?" She replied, "Uh that's pretty unclear!" 

Much to her parents dismay, she followed her heart and decided to abandon her scholarship opportunity at Stanford University to follow Ben to New York and attend the University of New York. We follow Felicity on her journey of self discovery, love and the ability to make mistakes in order to find her voice in the little world we call LIFE.


I have to tell you, because of Felicity, I learned what being an artist is really like especially when you have to face the world with raw emotion. She paves her way through New York with the most sincere passion that only a true artist can have, and as a young adult would have it, she leaps before she thinks twice when it comes to her decisions. Her parents are her constant battle within every year of her growth into womanhood and yes, all they want to seem to do is shelter her from the cruelty of the world yet they always find a way to make it about themselves, where at one point, Felicity is ready to fend for herself.

On her downtime instead of blogging, much like we do in today's world, Felicity mails tape recordings to her good friend Sally Reardon, where they fill each other with their deepest thoughts ranging from personal feelings to quests that allow them to see the results of their actions, whether right or wrong. Brave souls are usually those who are not afraid to make LIFE happen for them, and these two are TWO PEAS in a POD.

Meanwhile her feelings for Ben make her so vulnerable that with every fight, every tear and every  whispered greeting she makes the conscious decision to please him only to make sure that her heart is as soothed as the touch of his lips. Deep down inside, Ben can't be without Felicity and Felicity can't be without Ben, no matter the circumstance! This is heart wrenching EVERY SINGLE TIME! So many people can come in between them and yet they always find each other at their weakest moment only to solidify what deep feelings they have for one another.
They seal it with their whisper greeting:

Ben:
(Soft Whisper)
"Hiiii"

Felicity:
(Soft Whisper)
"Heeeey"

What makes Felicity so great???

It's message of becoming your own individual, of NOT being afraid to break the rules to make your LIFE better, and most of all, the ACCEPTANCE of being human! Felicity thrives in the imperfection of the soul and daggers the question of what makes the heart have its humility. Nothing speaks more highly than the love one has for LIFE, and along with Felicity, you'll find that her friends and even her college experience will make you want to ask yourself,

"Why on earth did you do that??"

Simple...because that's LIFE.

 

Satisfied.. Conviction Of The Written Word

The written word always gets to me especially in the form of poetry ever since I discovered my love for music when I was a child. 

Since I can remember, I've always paid attention to lyrical content when listening to a song. They say words can have a thousand meanings especially when the emotion is sung with conviction. 

When I was in choir we had a few days to learn our songs and especially our vocal arrangement to make it sound as clear and crisp as the wind. Then when I started singing on my own I actually had trouble staying on key and portraying the conviction let alone deliver what goosebumps a simple love song can give you. So I decided to take vocal lessons to allow myself to get re-introduced to my ear and start listening to myself instead of blending with a group of individuals. 

That was when I started to collaborate with a guitarist and started singing melodies to lyrics that I had written myself in the past few years, and suddenly, my ear was able to absorb and portray 

the conviction of the written word! 

Every heartache needed it's own tear jerking note, while every smile needed it's uplifting vocal run, and every band-aid needed it's own healing melodic whisper. 

This is why I'm a big fan of Jewel. 

Ever since I heard "Who will save your soul" back in 1996, I've been addicted to her voice and what it has to say about her heart shattering lyrics. I always looked at her liner notes about what inspired every song on her albums and tried to catch every live performance she gave on T.V. To date, I continue to love her written word and her vocal ability! 

Bringing me to her 2010 country hit, 

"Satisfied".

The beauty of this song is the fact that the message is put in such simple terms, 

"So did you say it
Did you mean it
Did you lay it on the line
Did you make it count
Did you look 'em in the eye
Did they feel it
Did you say it in time
Did you say it out loud
'cause if you did hun
Then you lived some
That feeling inside
That's called satisfied"

The human heart can live in regret due to not having the ability to be able to speak up.

 LOVE is one of the only words that can be portrayed as a universal action and yet it's one of the  most complex and endearing words in the English language. If it's LOVE you desire, it's as easy as ordering a meal at a restaurant, you have to speak of what it is you're looking for. It's a conviction that has an endless meaning and has the ability to do whatever it is you want it to do. 

Afraid of it???

Don't be...just go one step at a time...as soon as you're able to speak the TRUTH from your heart, you'll see that the reality of it all lies in the amount of strength your words contain. 

If you can write LOVE, then you can also speak LOVE, it's that satisfying.

The Dream Process

Way back when I remember when it came down to going to sleep at night, I used to snuggle in my bed somewhere between 10-11pm...I was knocked out usually within 5 minutes! 

Well, these current days have changed quite a bit!
My mind stays wired for a couple hours after I finish my work shifts and let me tell you, my head is spinning with questions upon questions about LIFE in general. Everything from how my body's sore up to the last song I was hearing in the car. Yet one thought aspect remains constant when the clock strikes 2 a.m...

Will I dream? 

If so, where will I be?

Dreams can be so vivid that they feel as if you're really living the situation you're in. It's a feverish feeling when you wake up either in a state of confusion, a smile, or in tears. Does this mean that dreams are REAL forms of our lives in an unexpected form?? I tend to believe so.

On a personal aspect, lately my dreams have not ONLY been feeling real,

 they're reflecting my inner thoughts and actions. 

There have been new souls that are showing up whom apparently my outside self recognizes yet on the inside, I'm completely lost. Souls that are no longer here on Earth have also been appearing and wholeheartedly want to know how I've been doing, and yet all I seem to feel from them is inner peace. Another particular being is coming in and out of my subconscious frame of mind and is wanting to speak to me and understand my current state of reflection and my heart, for a specific reason, isn't responding to their care and generosity. Maybe because in real life I'm getting the opposite effect from them.

2 specific dreams have stuck with me lately, the first included one of the most AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL landscape I've ever seen! Green hills with bright blue skies and pearl white puffy clouds with the most amazing scent of PEACE....it was breathtaking! I've been wanting to draw it so that I don't forget the details, though, being as it is, I don't think I ever will. I was able to live this for what seemed to be a whole minute in my dream, in real LIFE it was actually 7 almost 8 hours of sleep.

The second dream revealed the heart of a person I never thought would come to terms with their feelings, let alone the revelation I was told, ALONG with the reason behind it. Again, in this dream, I felt peace, I felt whole and wasn't feeling ANY insecurity whatsoever. What had seemed to be 5 minutes, was actually 6 hours of sleep and woke up with tears streaming down my face. 

What does all this mean???

My interpretation....

All along in my experience here, I've always wanted to live a LIFE of happiness with not a worry to plague me from anything or anyone, a feeling of relief. Slowly since late last year, my dreams have been letting me know what TRUE direction my heart has been heading towards, especially after internally fighting myself for so long. I can't tell you how BEAUTIFUL and breathtaking these dreams have made me felt! Yes, I'm human like everyone else and have my off days, though with dreams like these flowing through me, how am I to avoid them especially when they're appearing for the right reasons.

 I can't ignore the inevitable,

I can only follow and listen to what my DREAMS are leading me to.

Lately

Some of you out there have seen my fascination with the show 'Nashville' on abc! Everything from the music to the characters and let's face it, the DRAMA! 

One of my favorite characters that I love on this show is played by Clare Bowen, a.k.a. Scarlett O'Connor, the whimsical poet/singer/songwriter that is easy to share her heart through her music yet puts up walls when it comes to her personal life. 

If Scarlett was an actual person in real life I would very much love to have a writing session with her especially with that clear melodic voice she vocalizes so effortlessly.

In the show Scarlett cares for her heart in the way that she writes exactly what she's feeling and going through with those she's emotionally invested in. Season 1 had a great introduction to her humble beginnings as a songwriter, and as we got toward the end she took a chance at singing some of her own material landing her a record deal of her own. Now as we near the end in Season 2, she's the opening act to some of Country Music's fictional royalty and is trying to cope with the pressures of being a recording and traveling musician. 

Earlier in Season 2 she was given the opportunity to sing one of her songs that she co-wrote with one of her ex-boyfriends, Gunnar Scott, for the none other Kelly Clarkson. In the show Kelly's looking for new material for her next album and heard one of the demos Gunnar and Scarlett had written called 'Lately'. 

Of course this is an amazing once in a lifetime opportunity for the duo songwriter's, though it's kind of awkward being that they've broken up professionally and romantically by this point and are once again showcasing a song they wrote when they were at their most vulnerable heartfelt state in their relationship. 

Everyone and anyone can relate to this song that simply states a true fact of the heart:

"I've been missing you
I've been missing you, lately"

A romance that wholeheartedly continues to live on, 

inside us all!