On this great earth of ours, we have no chance but to understand why things are the way they are. We can be like those little kids who are always asking, "WHY?" Yet, that simple one word question will NEVER be answered, due to the fact that, well, "It is what it is".....
Two of the biggest words I came to learn and actually love in my 7 years of Youth Ministry were:
I have literally questioned every single piece of existence when it comes to LIFE and the human mind. I would often ask myself, "Why am I made to Understand everything?" One of my pet peeves back in the day was when everyone around me would assume that I would be ok with change, that no matter what decision was made or what the outcome would be, I would "Understand"...man that would get under my skin! Until the day came when I said, "Excuse me, I actually DON'T understand! Please, explain to me why you believe that I would understand this circumstance?"
I felt sorry for my friend at that time because he caught me on the wrong day! He stumbled and couldn't find the words to comfort me or just simply to make things better. He got as pale as a ghost and then said, "I'm sorry Erik, I just thought it would be OK with you since in the past there's never been an issue". I suddenly felt like a complete JERK! This was all about locating and bringing a "prop" to church for a skit that was going to take place in the next couple days, assuming I had the time to do so since our other team player had something else going on and wasn't able to complete the task.
Later that night, as I was lying in bed, I had to Reflect on what really triggered my being so annoyed, and most importantly, why on earth would I ever act that way especially in front of others and put my friend on the spot? After a 15 min. deliberation in the dark, I found my answer:
Being the 3rd of 4 children, I was really never asked for an opinion and was told to do things just cause, no questions asked. My friends in middle school saw me as this shy boy that followed a crowd, and in high school I always seemed to blend in with the crowd, now that I had the opportunity to express an opinion, I still wasn't able to because I never spoke up, I felt the way I did when I was a kid, and finally for once, I wanted my own voice to be heard.
I now knew and understood my place and what I had to do to make things right.
The next day, I called and apologized to my friend about the incident and explained myself in detail about the way I felt and why I did what I did. Thankfully, he accepted my apology and from that moment on, he took me into consideration and valued my opinion when I wanted to express myself a bit further in future endeavors that we were a part of.
Most of the time when we tend to overreact and take things too seriously, all it takes is to take a step back, really look the situation, Reflect and fully Understand our position and slowly move forward in the right direction.
It may take a while, yet once taken the proper steps, that's really all it takes. It is what it is!