The Lessons that COUNT : ) 1:17 A.M.-2:01 A.M.

Usually the best time for me to think and the best time when I get the craving to write something down is in the wee hours of the morning...it's actually my favorite part of my whole day!

Sitting on my bed, listening to my i Tunes, and focusing on what really serves as my main subject matter makes my whole day all worth while. It really doesn't take much to please me, and if you know me very well, you'll know you have my heart with one of 3 things, if not, all of them:

1. Starbucks Chai Latte
2. Food
3. Saying, "I Love You" and really mean it

So today, I had 2 of those items and I was content! Although right now I really wish I had a Chai Latte..it would make my night so GRAND!! But oh well, life goes on : )

Along with the 3 things that melt my heart, I've discovered that when getting the opportunity to write these Blogs, I'm able to connect a lot more with an audience that just wants to take a step back from life and escape from the everyday routine.

When I used to compose my music I used to always want to get away in my fantasy world, where no one can tell me anything and the lyrics just came to mind. There's something new and refreshing when I had that escape...now that I haven't actually composed anything since my last band record in 2009, I was able to re-discover what I used to love doing before and have many notebooks filled with...my inner most thoughts and events that capture LIFE LESSONS!

Yes I'm only 27, but I have to say a lot has happened, I've been able to learn from so much and yet be able to actually say "I'm a happy and satisfied individual". I do love what I do, even though I have my days just like anyone else, and if there's ever a time I forget where I'm going or lose my way, I always remember what my Mom said to me when I came out of the "closet":

"You are who you are Erik, you were born my son and no one will take you away from me or change you because this is YOU, always love yourself first and foremost, and always smile!"

That will always be with me..as much as a "Mommy Dearest" my Mom was at times, these words always stay in my heart. She also taught me that there's more to LIFE than material things, there's a LIFE to lead and if anything, I must leave my mark everywhere I go so people knew I was once there and LIVED. Also, that's it's always the "little things in life that count, so make you sure you COUNT them!" (hence my 1,2,3 list above)

So with that in mind, in the words of my Mom and I'm sure many Mom's out there in the world,

"Always Love Yourself First and Foremost"

If you call me FAT I'll split your ends!

This was a "Status Update" that I posted yesterday mid-afternoon on Facebook after I forgot to eat until 4 pm...the whole update was as follows:

Quiero tragarme todo!!!! If you call me FAT I'll split your ends! Love you ALL : ) #BusyLittleQueenSays

 Seriously speaking, how does one forget to eat? It's very easy, you just get into a project, and between texting and answering emails, before you know it, it's late in the afternoon. The one thing that saved me were my bag of Funyuns that my co-worker bought me, it was then when I settled down a bit.

Now, to be called FAT, believe it or not, I've been called FAT by those around me, the latest and greatest, mid-last year, one of my clients (who shall remain nameless) said:

"Wow, you've pumped up some volume huh?" 

I was speechless and just replied, "Your hair looks like it needs 5 inches off!" ....my goodness the nerve, at the same time, she hadn't seen me in a while. Then she tried to rescue herself by saying she was simply implying that it looked like I gained "muscle". Hahahahaha! Good one!

Either way, my feelings were hurt and I had a real long hard look in the mirror that night. It reminded me of when I was 10 years old and put on my first diet cause my Mom didn't want me to be chunky at such an early age. It's amazing how one comment can trigger your past in an instant, and here I thought I had put it behind me. I began to think, "Do I really look bad?" and  "Maybe I should go on Weight Watchers?" and "I need to stop eating altogether!" Talk about your mind going crazy!

Ever since that comment, I really looked at myself and began to finally dissect myself from the inside out. I began to see the "real" me, the person inside, not the outside. It's hard though when in this industry, you're constantly being told how either great you look or how you've let yourself go, or how one hairstyle looks better than the one you've had before, etc. Then, you're making everyone else look their best and you leave yourself for last, you can't help but to start to slip here and there. I would say it took a good 6-7 months to really decipher and really look into myself and see if I liked what I saw, thankfully, I did : )

I've now been able to take all the comments I receive in a positive way and not let them get to me. I am who I am on the outside and either way, 10, 20, 30 or even 40 pounds lighter or heavier (hopefully lighter), I don't change on the inside, and that's what counts the most...were ALL human and are allowed to look the way we desire : )

Although, if I'm starving, and you call me FAT, I will SPLIT your ends!!!!

City

A quick back story about how I discovered this song:


Back in November of 2010 I was at the Claim Jumper in Arcadia, Ca with my sister and brother-in-law and after we had our delicious dinner that night, we were walking out of the restaurant and the hook to this song caught my ears..I heard, "Here in these..deep city lights"...with a soft voice. I wanted to know right then and there who was singing this song..and so in true iPhone fashion, I used my "Shazam" App and I found out it was..."City" by Sara Bareilles.

"City" talks about the surroundings of what really goes on within a big city, in this case, the "City" being Los Angeles. What Sara writes is how shallow and fake people go in and out and up and down this city, she couldn't really trust anyone at that point being that she came from a small town. But just like everyone acclimates sooner or later, she found those she could trust.

I'm originally from L.A. and when I heard this song, I could see where she was coming from. It's a place of not knowing what's around you, being that inside you're a stranger to the BIG unknown. I've been in L.A. all my life and I still discover new people everyday and every week that I'm there. Some shallow, some fake, some money hungry, some starving for stardom, and some TRUE and honest people.You just have to pick and choose what's good for you.

At the same time, L.A. has so much to offer you with places like the Griffith Park Observatory, Hollywood and Highland, Center Theater Group in Downtown, Olvera Street, Venice Beach and Santa Monica Third Street Promenade, etc. These being some of my ALL time favorite places, I feel so at home and I know I belong.

Does it take time to know you belong? Oh YES! You'll know when your heart goes, "Pitter Patter!" Sara at the end of the song sings, "Could I hold to you?"...I'm sure she found that one person she could hold on to...I did..here in these deep city lights: )

Roll the Credits

As most of EVERYONE knows, one of my favorite singers/client/friend is Paula Deanda! I met Paula through my other friends, the pop girl band La Conquista back in 2007 and we have worked together and kept in contact ever since. She is one of the most appreciative and wonderful human beings to ever grace the Entertainment Industry! Can anyone ever relate to Paula's music? YES!!! Here's how I relate to one of her songs:

ROLL THE CREDITS

"Roll the Credits" deals with a relationship having to come to not only listening to the Truth, but having to see it and going through the motions. One of the hardest saying's that is often said is, "I gotta see it to believe it"...isn't that now the honest TRUTH!

If I was to "Roll the Credits" on my life now, so many names would be changed, and overall, I would be in a lead, not a supporting role as I was before. 

In both the professional and personal aspect, I've been replaced so many times that it doesn't really phase me much anymore now as it did back then. I know that change must happen in order for us to grow and for life to move on so we can reach a higher place. Yet, it doesn't make the feeling any better. 

Times come and go where you can't help to take these changes in the "script" personal, the good thing though is that with every scribble and erasing, you learn to adapt and function in the new role you were put in. Do you get something out of it? I say definitely! If you've accepted every decision you've made because you firmly believe you made the right choice for you, LESSON LEARNED...if you need the help along the way, TAKE IT!

In my teenage years up to when I was 17 yrs of age, I looked at the glass 1/2 Full instead of 1/2 Empty. From 17-24, it was 1/2 empty most of the time until I got myself back up slowly. From 25- Now, it's FULL. I've always been told that I don't really accept the help I need because I like to do everything myself, yet, WE all need help at one point. I'm happy to say I gladly accept it now when it is offered and comes my way in those scribble and erasing times. 

If anything, POSITIVITY is the overall message and is the KEY to any "script" change...and as Paula sings it oh so well:

ROLL THE CREDITS!

My LOVE Affair with.....

LOVE Affair??? Me??? Only when it comes to.....

COUNTRY MUSIC!

For some reason, when I mention that I love Country Music, there's this BIG loooong pause that I get, even from my family members! I'm guessing I don't exude the type of person who might like and appreciate Country Music? Whatever the reason, only they know...at least for me, I grew to love Country Music because I allowed myself to listen to a song by the none other Tim McGraw when I was 16 years old. I believe the song was "Something Like That" (the barbecue stain on my white t-shirt song).

I couldn't help but swing my head back and forth to that song! It was addicting! Then I had heard of his wife Faith Hill with "This Kiss", then Shania Twain with "You're Still the One", and I guess these were what you call crossover "Pop/Country" songs, but it still made me want to explore their more Country material a bit more.

 

It's no secret that out of all the country stars out there, Tim McGraw is my all time favorite! Besides his good looks, he's an amazing story of triumph, success and a family man! Now that's sexy! His music get's better every year and I've seen him altogether (counting what will be in June) 4 times!!! I can't get enough! Call me obsessed or whatever, but I just love what he stands for and how he loves his wife and family!

In today's world, even the younger generation is falling in love with Country Music and discovering not only Carrie Underwood, Lady Antebellum, The Band Perry, Miranda Lambert, etc....they're also listening to Garth Brooks, Brooks & Dunn, George Strait, Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, and Patsy Cline among other greats! Country Music has come very far in this time, especially in movies and t.v. shows.

As much as I love Destiny's Child and Selena, I have a BIG space in my heart for COUNTRY!! It ALWAYS tells the truth when it comes to love...so raw and oh so "Damn that was good!!!!" type of feeling!

I remember a couple years back my Mom was like, "I had no clue you liked Country?! When you're older and of age, you can take me out to a country bar!" I shoook my head and said, "Mom...NO!" 

To this day she still wants to go to a country bar, hopefully soon one day I will take her to one and we can appreciate the songs for what they are...

TRUE Feelings from the HEART!

CELEBRATE change, don't FEAR it!

CHANGE can come in many ways, usually the very first thing that an individual tends to change when something traumatic has happened is their appearance, why? It's the easiest to do so, it's also one of the scariest moments one can go through, YET a liberating feeling one could ever get!

In the past 10 years of doing hair, I've seen it time and time again:

• "My boyfriend and I broke up, CUT my hair off!"
• "I just lost a loved one, CHANGE my color!"
• "My wife is pissing me off, SHAVE my head!"
• "I'm pregnant and fat, I want my hair in a BOB!" (believe it or not, this is a very common one)
• "I'm ready for a CHANGE, do whatever you want!"

It's usually one of those awkward times that I tend to giggle out of nerves, give a smirk to my clients, and start dissecting every little aspect of why it is they want to change so bad, and I usually ask if this is something they really want to do, of course, this is THEIR look, not mine.

Although I have to say, many times we can be so emotionally crippled and emotionally blind that when were in a desperate need of change, we go for the easiest thing we can get our hands on, and 9 times out of 10, we end up disliking what was done to us and come back to earth. Not thinking clearly is NOT a symptom, it's a phase, a state of confusion that lasts anywhere from a couple hours to GOD knows when, until we snap out of it. Think of it as blacking out, then all of a sudden we wake up and go,"Ahhhhhhh!!! What the hell?"

Sound familiar??? Yup, I thought so too!

Well my friends, here are a couple ways you can save yourself an emotional outburst,  a change for the better, and still be able to feel liberated:

1. When you're having an emotional moment, DON'T call your hairstylist first, call your best friend, Mom, Dad, anyone who will listen to you.
2. DON'T look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, "You need some help fast!" 
3. CHANGE is there when you're ready to go to the next level, when you're ready to better yourself, not take it for granted.
4. CHANGE is not forgetting who you once were, it's celebrating YOUR growth and moving on while holding your head up high.
5. While it is scary having to change something about yourself, make sure you clear it up with your heart, and NOT subconscious (meaning, be level headed and be ready emotionally)
6. DON'T fear CHANGE, EXPRESS it to the fullest, make your new self known!
   
7. Finally, if you can, inhale and exhale slowly 3 times, and if you feel like the BEST of you is to come, free yourself of your past, look forward to your future, and enjoy the process of your CHANGE, for you know it'll feel so good and liberating once you've reached a whole NEW you!

If anything, CELEBRATE change, don't FEAR it!

Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)

Alicia Keys has written and recorded some of the most amazing songs filled with so much meaning, I have to say, out of all of them, I have never related so much to a song like I do to this one:

Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)

"Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)" deals with a future couple who have been hanging around each other and now know deeply what they're feeling for one another, yet they're having a conversation over whether or not they should go to the next level. 

So many times when in the same situation, we tend to think that if we hold back on what and/or how we feel we'll be in the safe zone from allowing ourselves to get hurt and make things painful or even make it awkward. It's so easy to put feelings aside and not allow them to grow, brush them off to the side and keep ourselves busy with other things in life. Or even better, we'll want and let the other person make the first move to even see if were right about what's going on...then we tend to ask ourselves over and over again, 

• "Am I ready for this?"   
• "Should I be feeling this way?" 
• "This can't be right, or is it?"

Why can't we just act upon our feelings? Upon the power of attraction? We learn with so much that we already go through with family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.,  yet, were stopping ourselves because supposedly we don't want past events to repeat themselves? Really????

When you put yourself in the position that this song asking, as a human being you know when you're ready to make the move. When TRUE honesty takes over your heart, when genuinely you get butterflies and get shaky for the right reasons, when you're far away and the simple thought of them makes you smile. I have to say that the best is when you've had a real bad day and on the ride home, you catch a glimpse and think of them and your heart feels warm, your smiling from the inside out! That my friends, is when YOU know you're READY!

Just like Alicia states in this song:

"I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
If you ask me I'm ready"

 Now YES, in order to be ready you have to have yourself in check, make sure that you can take on another heart other than that of your very own, and I believe by now, those of us in adulthood know the difference between TRUE honesty and LUST. Just in case if you don't know, TRUE honesty grows within the heart, and LUST fades not even penetrating through the heart. When you have TRUE honesty flowing straight from your heart, no gimmicks and no excuses involved, then you know you're ready to care for another heart. Until then, make sure and even double check you have yourself in check with nothing but TRUE honesty! If it takes a while, so let it be, but don't fight it, embrace TRUE honesty! You know what else, if it makes you look crazy, so be it! At least you know what's up from down.

Truthfully speaking, if you ask me, I'M READY!

TRUST comes a long way!

I usually write 2 blogs a week, but for some reason, last week I needed to step back a bit and look at life around me and what was really going on in the world...and well...TRUST comes a long way!

Let's dissect shall we:

TRUST

-->Professionally
As a hairstylist, one must earn the TRUST of a client within the first 5 minutes....at times it's a struggle due to either me not feeling the client or the client not opening to me..either or. Last week was more or less TRUST between myself and my regulars. I had to really captivate what they were desiring and separate what they actually really needed. It was DIFFICULT!!! I really had to question my craft and test what I was all about! Pleasing others has got to be one of the scariest yet hardest things one can do in any industry, yet, I've survived 10 years in it, thus far (knock on wood)!

-->Personally
At 27 years of age, TRUSTING myself is always the last thing I do! Why? Can you blame me? I'm HUMAN! I always question my actions, yet, I don't pester myself that much thank goodness! I'm in the midst of transition right now and have to plan, literally, month to month and week by week. It's exhausting yet, I like it for some reason. I listen to the advice that's given to me, yet, I have a hard time not questioning what's best for the time being and in the future. I have to admit, it scares me to know that I'm 2.5 years away from turning 30, only for the fact that I have certain goals I want to reach before then. Can you tell I'm very persistent...and yet, I live with this! I've come a long way due to the wonderful word called FAITH...I have a lot of it and do indeed TRUST in GOD ALWAYS....he's my saving grace in all the madness inside my insecurities!

-->Entirely
With those around me, I find it interesting to see how often they find TRUST being against them and not for them. It's not a lack of confidence and it's not a lack of them failing to earn TRUST, it's more of them actually NOT using the action of TRUST. How exactly is that done? By being strong in what is said and done, it's one thing to SAY it and it's one thing to DO  it. When you want to prove yourself to somebody, it goes hand in hand to actually see a result of what was said, whether the outcome being good or bad. This world is filled with false promises and false words...with siblings, lovers, marriages, etc. Let's put strength back in TRUST  and see that it contains an end result and not an empty one!

-->Altogether
In the end, TRUST really has it's way with life. What makes TRUST so strong is the will to have a belief behind it, like when we say it on a daily basis:


"I trust that ALL will get better"

"Trust me, I'll show you!"


"Trust that the world see's the Truth"

"Trust!"

Yet overall, I saw that WE, even I, seemed to have lacked the strength to back up TRUST in some cases and instances. Reminding yourself can only do so much, it's putting the action into play that makes the world at least bit by bit, a much better place.....

TRUST yourself and in ONE another, for there is much Life to accomplish, 

no matter the AGE! 

-Erik Velasco