Wednesday, April 27, 2011

If you call me FAT I'll split your ends!

This was a "Status Update" that I posted yesterday mid-afternoon on Facebook after I forgot to eat until 4 pm...the whole update was as follows:

Quiero tragarme todo!!!! If you call me FAT I'll split your ends! Love you ALL : ) #BusyLittleQueenSays
 Seriously speaking, how does one forget to eat? It's very easy, you just get into a project, and between texting and answering emails, before you know it, it's late in the afternoon. The one thing that saved me were my bag of Funyuns that my co-worker bought me, it was then when I settled down a bit.
Now, to be called FAT, believe it or not, I've been called FAT by those around me, the latest and greatest, mid-last year, one of my clients (who shall remain nameless) said:
"Wow, you've pumped up some volume huh?" 
I was speechless and just replied, "Your hair looks like it needs 5 inches off!" goodness the nerve, at the same time, she hadn't seen me in a while. Then she tried to rescue herself by saying she was simply implying that it looked like I gained "muscle". Hahahahaha! Good one!
Either way, my feelings were hurt and I had a real long hard look in the mirror that night. It reminded me of when I was 10 years old and put on my first diet cause my Mom didn't want me to be chunky at such an early age. It's amazing how one comment can trigger your past in an instant, and here I thought I had put it behind me. I began to think, "Do I really look bad?" and  "Maybe I should go on Weight Watchers?" and "I need to stop eating altogether!" Talk about your mind going crazy!
Ever since that comment, I really looked at myself and began to finally dissect myself from the inside out. I began to see the "real" me, the person inside, not the outside. It's hard though when in this industry, you're constantly being told how either great you look or how you've let yourself go, or how one hairstyle looks better than the one you've had before, etc. Then, you're making everyone else look their best and you leave yourself for last, you can't help but to start to slip here and there. I would say it took a good 6-7 months to really decipher and really look into myself and see if I liked what I saw, thankfully, I did : )
I've now been able to take all the comments I receive in a positive way and not let them get to me. I am who I am on the outside and either way, 10, 20, 30 or even 40 pounds lighter or heavier (hopefully lighter), I don't change on the inside, and that's what counts the most...were ALL human and are allowed to look the way we desire : )
Although, if I'm starving, and you call me FAT, I will SPLIT your ends!!!!

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