Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Cry of Rejection

To refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose

 The places where Busy Little Queen has been rejected from:

*American Idol (Season 2)
*Eastcoast Record Label Development Deal
*Jonathan Salon- West Hollywood
*Ronald McDonald Charity House 
*1 Sibling

Each of these played an important significance in my life, and ALL had one thing in common with each other, I wanted to take the next step and better myself, the only thing that I didn't know at the time that I know now is that I wasn't ready to fully immerse myself and take on what would've been the BIGGEST whirlwind of my life!

It hit me last week when I started to watch the season premiere of American Idol Season 11...they had such great talent to begin with this year..then, came the not so good singers that were convinced that they sing so beautifully. To be subjected to a show of that magnitude really has people believe the hype that many build around them, the TRUTH becomes very hidden. Then when the judges tell them that they're not to go on to the next round, they cry inconsolably, yell at the camera crew, curse at them and flip them off. It's sad to see yet very comical because if you really act like that on T.V., then what REALLY lies behind those cameras??? WOW!

Out of my 5 rejections listed above, I only cried in one of them, that was my 1 sibling. My older brother has always taunted me since we were kids, I was different from him, and that was something he couldn't agree with. When we got older, it only got worse unfortunately and it always made me think, "If I was just like him, would he have ever treated me any differently???" I tend to believe that he was never happy with himself so he kept rejecting everyone around him, and I was his first target. Until the day came when I cried out of anger and yelled this at him,

"The only reason you have to LOVE me is because we came from the same Mom and Dad, and that isn't even good enough for you, so STOP pretending, you hate me and I will never make you happy!"

He brushed it off in front of me but later on I heard him tell my Mom (aka Mommy Dearest) how what I said hurt him, and that it wasn't true. He had a hard time understanding me and I had a hard time understanding him. We recently hadn't spoken in 7 years, and has since tried reconnecting with me, which by phone was good enough for me...for now. 
For years I felt JUST like the contestants on the show after they get told that they're not being chosen to move on...betrayed, mislead, and the biggest let down and knot in my throat. It was something I couldn't shake off, it was a very confusing time, yet again, I wasn't meant to live the Understanding that one leads in LIFE at times. 

Now that I have my LIFE together a bit more, I'm beginning to see WHY I had been rejected from these opportunities. All of you know that I always talk about opportunities, and how to take them on and run with them. Well these were opportunities that were not meant for me to explore, and believe me I tried to get in there somehow. With each one that never panned out, of course I was let down because I had put so much work into it, so much of my heart and soul, and nothing came of it in a figurative sense....what did come out of the rejection was the STRENGTH, PERSEVERANCE, and DETERMINATION I now have to make sure I accomplish and take on the future opportunities coming my way.

To ALL of you American Idol Rejects, don't worry, all happens for a reason, there will always be tomorrow and you can try harder then, LIFE is full of opportunities and rejections, you must go through some of the bad to get to the's that good 'ol saying:

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!
P.S. I made it to 2 out of 3 auditions for American Idol Season 2, was one of the 500 chosen out of 11,000 in Los Angeles alone, and was not chosen to go on to see the judges...although afterwards I released 2 solo albums and 2 group albums independently, performed in Coffee Shops regularly and was part of a church band for 5 years...
Anything is possible : )

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