Thursday, July 19, 2012

`~"The GUIDE to Supporting a Loved One"~`

It's imperative to have the support from your loved ones everyday, whether you're going through thick or thin times in LIFE. Though unfortunately, there's ALWAYS that certain something that lacks the support, especially coming from our inner circles.

I've spoken candidly about my up and down relationship with my Mom aka "Mommy Dearest", and when I told her that I actually write about her in my blogs, her words were,

 "Oh great! I can only imagine what you're writing about me!" 

See to Mommy Dearest, believe it or not, the majority of the world is always against her, she's the victim in ANY situation. My response to her comment was,

"Actually Mom, I write about the TRUTH in my blogs, even though we've had bad times, I want to be able to help people who also grew up like me just in case they can't escape their bad moments in their childhood, so in the end, you're helping instead of looking bad!"

Needless to say, she still wasn't convinced.

The following that I'm about to mention is dedicated to ALL of you out there who had a similar experience to what I went through in my younger years, and now as an adult:

Parents--> Please know that you have my FULL support in that I am a firm believer that you are doing the best that you can for your children, no matter the age. Yet, also remember that your kids are HUMAN. They have feelings, they also care for you as much as you care for them. When you hurt, they hurt along with you, when you are angry, they're on your side and NEVER against you unless you put them against you. Yes, kids don't come with a book of instructions, although they do come with opinions and a heart of their own, you can ALWAYS be upfront with them about anything your heart desires to ask an/or know about them. Whatever you do, please DON"T treat them like the enemy or EVER be jealous of their triumphs, they want you to be a part of them even when they say, "Mom, Dad please stop asking me about my life!" That just means you're always invited : )

Children, Teens, Young Adults, Adults--> Know that your parents are your parents no matter what! They're set in their ways because that's just how they were raised. You cannot convert them to modern day thinking unless you explain to them what will be the benefit of them having to change and follow new and "improved ways". Yelling at them will get you NOWHERE but on their bad side. Rolling your eyes will only get you a slap on the head if you're lucky. Understand that your parents are just as much as you are. They too make mistakes and they're counting on you to feel for them. It takes a strong tie to want to be one with your parents, and it takes a stronger individual to want to understand who and what they're all about. Acceptance goes both ways, not just from your side or their side alone.

The essential part of supporting a loved one is knowing how to develop the following:


Mommy Dearest and I STILL lack ALL three of these words and their actions. At times she'll be fine with me on the phone and the next it's almost as if I declared WAR against her. It's a "Catch 22" with her. Just recently for instance I had done her hair and pre-booked her for a 6 week touch up. Now mind you, she's always saying how it's unfair that I do everyone else's hair, except for her's. So what does she do when the time comes to confirm? She CANCELS and says she did her own roots! I just don;t get the woman, though, she's my Mom, what can I say?!

The last essential part of supporting a loved one is by adding these next and LAST 3 words 
and their actions:

-->Undying Love

I have only 1 of these words down. It's a work in progress between us.
All I'm saying is, PLEASE give it your best to know that ALL it takes is effort and will to support a loved one, whether they'd be blood or not. I myself exercise what I just mentioned above as much as I am WILLING to do so with Mommy Dearest, and even so, were going step by step. How long will it take?? As long as we want, for our bond does lack support and love most of the time. I just hope her and I learn from each other enough to be able to help others in the process and give back to our own troubles.

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