10 years have passed since the last time I really loved someone with all my heart...he is now happily married and is living his life as he chose to, and I can't say that I am raging inside with anger because I'm not, if anything, I'm so happy for him and his journey with his new wife. I kept thinking of back in the day when there was that spark we once had, how much I would miss him on weekends and the times he wasn't around, and how that would just make me crazy! Then when I would see him, it was the best treat to my heart, I felt warm and fuzzy, the best feeling that one NEVER forgets! Then came the time when I had to let him go, for he had already served his purpose in my life, and as I've mentioned him before, that event of letting him go caused me so much pain, yet made me a strong individual that I was able to fill the missing void with GOD's love.
I'm not going to lie, I still miss him as the friend he once was, but when I think of him, I feel such warmth because he's living HIS life, and that allows for me to think nothing but happy thoughts. It does help when you can put a smile over a scar, I'll tell you that much.
It's also because of how I think of him NOW that whenever I seem to be going through my lonely times, I'm able to put into perspective the positive side of how LIFE itself goes on and keeps on going, then I take a deep breath and think to myself, " I'll be back home in no time and see everyone very soon!". If it wasn't for how I was able to put on a positive attitude and put my best foot forth, I'd still get sulky and sad inside, thankfully, I've learned and applied the lessons I've lived through along the way and just allow happy thoughts to help me get through some of the toughest lonely times.
As one of my mentors one day put it in simple terms for me, he said,
"Whenever you feel sad and lonely, know that it is then that you'll feel GOD's strength and love in you the strongest!"....
I couldn't have said it any better myself : )
Erik my hair and I miss you A LOT!!!
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