"Don't Look Back"

"Don't Look Back" is by a band that I discovered in 2005 back in the wonderful world of Starbucks! I heard this song and it kept my interest the whole time I was there (it was a looong line). When I came up to the register, I ordered my drink, and asked the employee who was on the radio...she then picked up the CD next to me and said, "Them!"...and as I read the name, it captivated me even more! The name was:

ANTIGONE RISING

They had been highly recommended by Rob Thomas (Matchbox-Twenty) saying that their "sound was unlike any other band out there"...so therefore I got the CD and till this day, I hear at least one song of the album every time I'm in the car, it's that good!

"Don't Look Back" talks about the strength that one possesses once having gone through the mourning process of losing that special someone. Notice the word STRENGTH...it's exactly what Antigone Rising wrote about in every single one of their songs.

I'd have to say the strongest lyric in this song has to be in the first half of the chorus which reads:

"Take your promise take your pain
Take your restless heart
If you go
go all the way
Don't look back "

It's completely what you feel once you've been restored and don't want that person who once occupied a space in your heart to come back with their drama and mess.

So many times I always looked back at my decisions, at my choices, and my actions of why LIFE took a turn the way it did...I would sulk to no end and fixate on every word that either myself or the other person had mentioned in our conversation. Then I would ask GOD to please take the pain, take these memories and erase them from my head, to never let them come back until I was ready to face them..which was NEVER! 

Lately I've had a rush of, "Well, this person and this person don't talk to me anymore, and this person thinks I'm the spawn of all evil, and this person wasn't pleased with what I did for them..", and to be quite honest, I'm not fighting to keep my sanity over the people who think I did them wrong. If this was 5 to six years ago, then for sure, I would've made an effort to keep them in my LIFE to simply keep THEM happy. What sense does that make?

Needless to say, for instance, I haven't spoken to one of my brothers for the past 6 years, because I finally found it pointless to always want to keep the line of communication open, especially since there's no effort coming from him. The last time I saw him was on his wedding day, then as time kept going by, I started to focus on what was the best thing for us both as adults, unfortunately, you know how I always mention that at times were searching for the answer without there ever being a question asked, well, my answer came just like that..SILENCE came and SILENCE is what we both had in common. He was already with one foot out the door, so why make him stay?!

I've made my peace with missing him and not knowing anything about him. Like the song says,

"Cuz in my heart you've been gone so long
that I won't miss you that bad"

He's my brother, I'll always love him and care for him, it's a given. Although GOD did grant me a second chance at an older brother, and I'm making sure I'm keeping ALL lines of communication open this time around to this day. He may not be my blood, but to ME he is, he's close to me just like any older brother would be and he cares, just like I do. Second chances do come around believe it or not, just make sure you do things differently than the first time.

It just sucks when you blame yourself for others' lack of consideration. To me, ANYONE who believes that there isn't a resolution to our lack of communication, I'm not willing to fight to keep you believing you deserve to be in my LIFE, and I'm not looking back to hold on to you.

  These days...if you see a person close to you with one foot out the door, let them go, and remember:

"If you go
go all the way
Don't look back"

You still learn from them, and, better opportunities are yet to come!

   <3