2013: A Year In Review Part 1

It's crazy to think that in 1 day, 2013 will be a year of the PAST.

For many, 2013 was a trying year, while for others, 2013 was that of an educational yet uplifting year.

I myself found many things to take with me, as well as many opportunities that will keep on coming and make me a better person both as an individual and as a professional.

January-June

2013 started off at a new salon location, right the Old Town Temecula, where to be honest, I had not visited in 5 years. Being that I was in Murrieta for that length of time, I just never found a reason to go there, until I found employment there. It's been by far my clients' favorite spot, especially the shampoo bowls where most of them fall asleep, yet the parking situation is getting worked out slowly but surely. A very BIG special THANK YOU to all of you who continue to support in letting me design your locks for you! I will continue to give 110% everytime you wish come in. 

In April I was contacted to see if I was interested in taking care of the hair section of the NBC 4 Los Angeles News Team as well as some of the employees there. With very little hesitation I jumped at the opportunity and thankfully, the NBC 4 Los Angeles News Team have welcome me every week with open arms and have trusted me in collaborating for their new image that they had been seeking. GOD willing, this opportunity will allow me to continue to grow even more in my ability as a hairstylist and as a professional who only seeks to make others feel great about their overall image. So far so good and I'm enjoying the challenge as every week comes.

May and June I was able to start off 2 new projects that will continue in 2014 and make a path for the greater good. My dear friend Brenda had the opportunity to jump at the chance and open her own Salon and Dry Bar in Old Town Temecula and had allowed me to help her start off with a name that has become quite noticed within the city in only 5 months of its doors being open. It hasn't been an easy ride, though just like I told her, if you believe in a dream and see it clearly, anything can happen. It's such a great feeling to see her run it with her love and devotion, and once she has the right mixture of devoted stylist entrepreneurs, the accomplishments are right around the corner, thus far, its a go!

The other project that captivated my time and heart has been my very first screenplay that took me 15 hrs. to complete in its entirety. With it's initial concept conceived by myself and my good friend Teppy,  it's based on a time frame in my life where I needed to learn some of the most valuable lessons ever. From accepting myself, to losing loved ones and especially finding my FAITH and trusting GOD once again, I incorporated my own metaphors in this screenplay to fit the main character's LIFE , a LIFE that actually happened and continues to be lived by so many out there.  

"Project DTL" found LIFE in 2013 and is being shopped around by me first and foremost so that it can find a good home. It's registered and being looked at by several individuals who can see the vision that was once lived. No matter how long it takes, I'm sticking it through so that many can have the opportunity to see more than what the eye conveys.

2013: A Year In Review Part. 2

July-December

In summertime I was busy juggling my multiple projects as well as my 3 jobs and trying to have somewhat of a personal life, as well as trying to stay cool while blow drying in the heat!

At this point, I had taken my vacations with one of my best friends to visit up North in Spokane, Washington to see and spend quality time with one of my other best friends. It was a much needed trip for all of us and I was loving the amazing scenery and weather of Spokane. My heart was in need of some Mother Nature!

 Right after, my then 2.5 year old niece Sophia had her first dance recital! Loved it so much and she did such a great job! My good friend Teppy had gotten married to her lovely husband Ray, and a beautiful wedding it was! I was also planning and funding my 30th Birthday Party along with my Sister-In-Law Lauren and with the help of my friend/personal assistant Ilda. 

Now when did I sleep...well, hardly ever! My nights at this point were consisting of 3-4 hrs. of sleep a night, suffering from severe insomnia and complete numbness on my right middle finger.

  

 I believed by this time, I was in full treatment mode with my consistent Acupuncture treatments by one of my co-workers in Glendale, Tina, and her mentor Doctor, Dr. Akopyan, who continues to treat me in present day. With nothing having worked and going crazy by my lack of sleep and numbing, I needed an outlet and a treatment that would make me LIVE again and make me strong mentally and physically. I've gotta tell ALL of you, Acupuncture is amazing! If you're ever in the Glendale area and are in need of some well deserved R&R, Dr. Akopyan at the Total Wellness Center will take care of you! 

By the time my 30th Birthday Party in September rolled around, I was in full bloom and in good spirits to celebrate my 5th year of living a HAPPY LIFE (at the age of 25 I made a pact with myself to break all negativity and live happily). I had 72 guests in attendance to help me ring 30 and what a fun time we all had! For those of you who are still weirded out with me by not showing up, do yourselves a favor and LOVE LIFE, I hold nothing against you and neither should you...you couldn't make it, and that's the end. Due to my birthday party, I had to forfeit my "Fall" vacation until "Spring" of 2014, though it was well worth it!

 October, November and December were a blend of work and personal negotiations. I was able to catch my good friend/client star in her 2nd Musical Play "Menopausea: El Musical" and let me tell y'all, Marabina Jaimes was a 90 minute powerhouse along with her 3 other co-stars! So happy to see them all soar! I met the handsome and talented Joey Fatone of *NSYNC in a comedy show he had hosted in Silverlake, Ca and of course introduced myself and offered my services to ANY future project where he might need a hair/make-up artist. Very down to earth and very inviting with his smile and personality!

On a personal level October had marked a year that my Mom (aka Mommy Dearest) and I had not spoken to each other. Truth be told she had wanted to get in touch with me in the 2 months following our October 2012 fallout. My Mom and I are such strong individuals that you can tell we love each other, though we're not a good mixture together. I have no ill will against her nor do I have any blame or guilt for that matter that has me straying away from her, I simply took a stand in NOT allowing people who are not happy with my LIFE choices influence my surroundings and have that energy floating over me. This has gone for most of the people I cut out of my LIFE this year, there's nothing I have against ANY of you, our time has simply expired and it was good while it lasted. I TRULY believe that we ALL have moments where we learn what we can from one another, and if we NEED to move on, then it's time to move on. I'm not proud of how my relationship is with my Mom, I do miss who she used to be and what she used to mean to me, though this time we BOTH made it hard for each other to TRULY appreciate one another and ACCEPT our hearts. My love for her is still there and so is my presence should she ever NEED me by her side. Unfortunately we both found out that were better at a distance than being in close range of each other, and that's O.K...for now at least. 

Overall, 2013 had me experience multi-tasking many opportunities, had me work until 1am on some nights (no joke) and also experience AND balance the loss of my beloved Godfather, the miscommunication and distance from my Mom, and the closing of doors to MANY I thought would appreciate my friendship and vice versa. ALL of this has served a greater purpose, and without a doubt, NONE of this could've been experienced without the undying LOVE and SUPPORT from GOD himself and those who are closest to me. 

Where there was a closing door, another window opened, and where there were tears, there was a "Ray of Light and Hope" waiting to capitalize on the future. We're meant to go through ups and downs to see how strong we are, to LIVE TO TELL and most importantly, to believe in something else other than ourselves...for if you think that you've survived another year all on your own, guess again...with GOD and FAITH, in ANY shape, way and form, ALL is possible and ALL is LOVE!

Here's to 2014 everyone!

Happy New Year!

The NEW Current and Up and Coming

For a while there it seemed like dance music was taking a back seat with artists like Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, and ke$ha all taking some time to record new material while Adele, Katy Perry, and Taylor Swift were dominating the music world with their versions of their past break-ups in their love lives.

Well 2013 definitely proved to be a come back not only for Lady Gaga, Britney Spears and ke$sha, we've had a couple new artists to add to that roster who not only made a splash in music, they've proven to have legit fans who want them to stick around for years should they want to make music for a living. 

Lorde, Fifth Harmony, and Cody Draiken 

have made 2013 theirs and their fans are NO joke!

Lorde just made her 2013 music debut with "Royals" climbing from the underground scene, this 17 year old Florence and The Machine-esque artist made sure everyone was listening to the new self proclaimed "Queen Bee". From New Zealand, all the way to the U.S. and as fast as running water, she was appearing on the music charts and performing her hit on the daytime talk shows as well as in the dance clubs with "Royals" becoming a remixed certified hit! 

Lorde sounds like a mature woman and is ready to take the music scene on without fastening her seat belt, for she has managed to score 4 Grammy nominations for the upcoming 2014 56th Annual Grammy Awards Ceremony. Way to go!

Fifth Harmony follows the footsteps of One Direction, Leona Lewis, and Cher Lloyd for they are all prodigy's of the contest show The X Factor. Having placed third in last year's U.S. X Factor (mentored and signed by Simon Cowell himself), this quintet girl group have certainly proved that they not only have the X Factor, they definitely have what it takes to re-define the friendship and love for future girl groups. Having auditioned separately as solo singers, Simon and hist team of judges all agreed to form this girl group knowing that their voices and image would sell and speak to millions out there in the music world! 

Just in 2013 alone, they're first single "Miss Movin' On" debuted at #76 on the Billboard Top 100 Singles Chart, they're "Better Together" EP debuted #6 on the Billboard 200 and #2 on iTunes album charts, and have already toured with British X Factor alum Cher Lloyd and are ready to tour with Demi Lovato in 2014. 

I'd say Fifth Harmony is here to stay! 

Congratulations little ones!

Cody Draiken is that artist that blends the sex appeal of a modern day Pete Burns (Dead or Alive) with the vocal equivalent to a male Britney and ke$ha. Having released singles in 2013 for a taste of what this innovative artist has to offer, his full LP "Dress Classy, Dance Nasty" is everything the underground club scene is ready for. Whether you go for the girls or for the guys, Cody has no boundaries for his music speaks volumes and to whomever it should please. This LP release date is only weeks away (January 8th, 2014)  and is definitely going to become a FAST sell for the new 2014 music scene. Songs like "Club Bang Her", "Ouija Board", and "Moaning Lisa" will have you in check as you dance to the groaning sounds of this male driven exposed vocal while hits like "Dress Classy, Dance Nasty" and "Young People Revolution" have what it takes to get you "achin" for Draiken!

 With 38,000 Followers on TWITTER alone and 26,000 Followers on INSTAGRAM, watch out ladies and gents Cody Draiken is on the prowl for 2014 will be his rise out of the underground!

Don't Let Go (Love)....the En Vogue Kind!

 Before my love for Destiny's Child ever began, this group of Funky Divas had my heart since their debut in the early 90's. En Vogue had the style, the look, and the voices to match up and dominate the charts, radio and MTV.

Of all their music history, "Don't Let Go (Love)" is my all time favorite being that it was also the lead song to the movie with Queen Latifah and Jada Pinkett-Smith "Set It Off" in 1996. If you've never seen "Set It Off", its a MUST see as it challenges topics of family, friendship and the price of greed. 

Now when En Vogue debuted the song and video for "Don't Let Go (Love)", they had been away at least for 2 years and were about to make it known to the world that they had a darker edge to the glammed up Funky Divas they had appeared to be in prior albums and videos. 

1996, I was 12 going on 13 years old when this song came about and let me tell you that when I saw the video, I was GLUED to the T.V. because I couldn't believe what I was seeing in front of me! The make-up, hair, clothes and attitude were ALL NEW and they meant business! In this group, they all took lead parts though most of the solo's often went to Dawn Robinson, and in this song, she lead the women to a "Do or Die" ultimatum love song. 

We've all been there when we have someone next to us who is on a 50/50 wild heart streak of "Yes I'm in...No I'm Out" kind of attitude. On our behalf we're all in, though it's time to show that we mean what our heart desires and ultimately what it wants. We can't pretend because we can't let go. So why should anybody have to? 

There's always reassurance for why we want what we can't have. It's typical to hold back and NOT showcase our desires to those our heart corresponds to, though our minds get to that breaking point of, "You see how I can lose control, now show me YOU!" It's taking the leap of not knowing until you try it, also known as the SACRIFICE. We can't change people and we can't make people fall in love for us, though we can encourage and solidify that were solely theirs and no one else's. 

Will they fall for our desire of LOVE???

Will they notice that our fantasy is them having us 100%???

Will they UNDERSTAND that they have the right to lose control in LOVE???

If you're at this 50/50 Love Roadblock, 

it's time to hold tight and 

Don't....Let....Go.

The Updates...and MORE!

Update #1

Whoa! I have to say, it's been about 3 years or so since I've had the stomach flu, and thankfully, I'm recovering from having it in the past few days...even broke past my fever...the shivers are no joke! Stay healthy everyone!

Update #2

The Holiday's are just weeks away and the long(er) hours are upon me! Those of you who know me know that I'm all about working VERY early and REALLY late...therefore where do I find the time to write anything??? Well, its dedication to my craft above anything, and also I have TONS on my mind...so you'll be hearing quite a bit from me either way.

Update #3

Speaking of my writing, I hadn't written anything here in my blog since my review on "Menopausea: El Musical" because it actually just had its last show this past Sunday after a 4 week run at the Ricardo Moltalban Theatre in Hollywood, Ca. My review came in to become very helpful to those wanting to go see the show, and I'm glad that my review served its purpose, for closing night was a SUCCESS!! BRAVO to the very FIRST SPANISH CAST and PRODUCTION of 

"Menopausea: El Musical"! 

Update #4

The greater part of the last 6 months I've been hard at work at writing my very first SCREENPLAY/SCRIPT aptly titled "Project DTL". It has an original title, though I won't be releasing it until we've begun production on it (which is a CROSS YOUR FINGERS goal). "Project DTL" actually contains TRUE EVENTS and COMPLETE TRUE Conversational Dialogue which I've actually had with my own loved ones. It's a story about surrendering to oneself and coming to terms with LIFE, FAMILY and FAITH...3 common areas I believe ALL of us can relate to. I've got it registered with the Writer's Guild of America and now I'm able to shop it around to see who is interested in taking on the project...wish me luck! If you happen to know of anyone who's interested in taking on a current FILM project, send them my way if at all possible, I would greatly appreciate it!

Update #5

For my 30th Birthday Party this past September I had asked my guests to bring a Teddy Bear instead of a gift for me so that I may donate them to a Charity of choice for the Christmas Season. My assistant and I are very close to finding the right Charity to donate these beautiful stuffed animals to, and let me tell you it's very hard to see them in my apartment for parting ways will be a very difficult thing to do! Also during these next 2 months I'm collecting items for putting together the Holiday Seasonal Blessing Bags for those who are less fortunate. If interested, you can go to the following page on my website to see what is needed for the completion of these bags... http://www.busylittlequeen.com/BLQ-s-Blessing-Bags.html

ANY help would be greatly appreciated!

Last but not least, my own Non-Profit Organization is STILL in the works, I'm yet working on the paperwork slowly and making sure ALL is filled out correctly...it's been 2.5 years in the works, and here's hoping that it can FINALLY stand on its OWN two feet in 2014. 

THANK YOU ALL for your LOVE and SUPPORT on ALL of these upcoming and current project taking place, for I definitely know it all takes time and patience to make it work in the world! 

Love and Peace to ALL of YOU! <3

"Menopausia: El Musical"..... The Review

This show has been around for many years and is actually being performed all over the world as we speak! I myself have heard of Menopause: The Musical from it's promotional status at the Luxor Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. It's always made me curious and yet of course, never went to go see it because I was in town for other shows I had already planned on seeing. 

One day one of my closest friend/client came in for her weekly blowout at my L.A. salon location and had let me know about her upcoming audition for Menopause: The Musical...the first ever SPANISH version to debut!!!

I was glad to hear that not only did she audition, and after her call backs, she was offered one of the 4 leads in the musical!

Week after week I've heard about her rehearsals and the fun aspects of what is to become the show that not only makes you want to stand up and sing, yet the show that makes you laugh hysterically whether you're male or female. I finally was able to see my dear friend in the show along with her 3 co-stars and let me tell y'all, it's a MUST SEE!!! Even my friend who doesn't speak a word of SPANISH enjoyed the 90 minute musical! 

Here's what to expect:

Diana Burbano, Paloma Morales, Marabina Jaimes and Graciela Valderrama 

 each represent a different role of the female image which we have in the world:

*House Wife

*Telenovela Soap Starlet

*Professional Power Woman

*All Natural Earth Mother

With each female role having their own state of mind and tasks in the world, they each have ONE thing in common...they're ALL going through Menopause!! 

It's a NO HOLDS BARRED type of subject where ALL 4 female leads intellectually, tastefully and hysterically tackle each of their menopausal troubles while shopping at Bloomingdale's in the wonderful world of New York City. 

They sure let the audience in on what Menopause is really doing to them!

Like what you may be asking??? 

Well, everything from foul odors to heat flashes and even to self  sexual pleasures are ALL layed out on the table! What better way to talk about these and other subjects than to use some of our most iconic songs of the past and re-word them so that we can ALL understand and sing along to the new and improved famous choruses!! Songs from artists like Sonny and Cher, Tina Turner, The Beach Boys, Marvin Gaye, etc. Whether you've grown up with these iconic songs or not, you'll recognize them right off the bat. 

The musical blend that this specific vocal quartet has is AMAZING and STUNNING! Not a note out of place and never a SHARP or FLAT tone whatsoever. For 90 minutes of dialogue and music, these women sure put the Popstars of today to shame.

 Professional woman Marabina Jaimes stuns as one of the most fan favorite Popstars of ALL time...who might it be?? Well, let's just say her and Angela Bassett are on the same wave length when it comes to their portrayals of this famous female singer.

There's also a great deal of interaction with the audience by the cast and a surprise Marilyn like vocal performance by the fabulous Paloma Morales where she really makes the males and females of the audience blush in amazement! Not only was her solo a great vocal performance, choreography wise she made great use of the stage! 

Choreographer Daria Lynne Melendez really shaped these gals into the spectacular performers they've become for this specific adaptation of the show.

Hair/Make-Up/Wardrobe was on key with each female lead and what a great change from beginning to end! Each look was specified and not overdone like in 

many musicals I've seen in the past.

Director Seth Greenleaf  has molded this cast to fit and represent the Hispanic Community down to a "T" and has made sure everyone can connect to the raw emotion of what it feels like to not only have this LIFE CHANGING cycle yet what it is to be around a person going through it as well. 

Laughs, great Music and a sense of Community all rolled into one! 

A great form of modern day Girl Power!

Bravo to the CAST and PRODUCTION of

Menopausia: El Musical
Showing at the 
Ricardo Montalban Theatre in 
Hollywood, Ca. for 4 weeks

Knowing Your Way Around

Countless times I've heard the common response of:

"Yeah, I know, I know"....

yet more than half the time, what's really being expressed is:

"Yeah I DON'T know!"....

Very TRUE and DIRECT unfortunately. 

As a teen I would constantly say this to Mommy Dearest and she would let me have it!

 One time her words were:

"Unless you know your way around, 

you don't know a damn thing!"

Of course back then I didn't get it, until I grew up and then ONE TWO THREE FOUR it clicked like a spark on the wall! I had to get a hold of myself and know who I was inside out to really know what to do with myself in certain situations. 

Being lost is one of the most uncertain aspects of the human mind that it's not even funny. Can't make a decision for the life of you, can't decide what to put on for the day or even what kind of music to listen to while in the car, etc. It's annoying yet undeniably misleading. 

Even at times in several instances with individuals who jump from one relationship to the next make the common mistake in NOT listening to what they need firsthand and get lost in trying to make others happy, trying to fit into a puzzle piece that quite frankly doesn't fit and making ends meet in ways that doesn't make sense to the common mind. Pretty much trying to sweep things under the rug time and time again until it builds up and then it starts to show it's dirty self in unimaginable ways. 

It's important to be ONE with ourselves for the simple fact that only WE can make our own selves happy and only WE can deliver what most people can't in the first place....the LOVE that thrives from the natural belief in FAITH. 

Stuck in a rut and don't know where or which way to turn???

 Well, this is where your FAITH comes in. Where can you get that from??? 

Easy...the same place you built yourself upon...wonder where that is???

This is why it's important to know your way around YOU. If you can believe in so much that goes on in the world, BELIEVE in YOU so you know where to turn to the next time you need clarity and above anything else, a sense of self direction and self love WITHOUT having to be narcissistic. 

HUMILITY, SELFLESSNESS and UNDERSTANDING

 is the main focus...

know, feel, and believe it all!

25 Things You Don't Know About Me

This might be a bit familiar to those of you who read US Weekly magazine. I'm an avid reader of the magazine and actually really enjoy the section where it picks a celebrity to share 25 things we don't know about them. Very fascinating what most of them like to share! 

I myself am no celebrity whatsoever, though every week my clients in both the Salon and Entertainment worlds learn something new about me and vice versa. So why not share 25 things about myself with all of you that the vast majority actually don't know..???! Right???!

Ready...here we go:

1. My name is spelled E-R-I-K...my Mom has misspelled it various times throughout the last 30 years....Erick, Eric, Ericck...pretty funny!

2. My sister Mari named me Erik when I was born, I was actually going to be named Michael.

3. I LOVE flat soda...it tastes really delicious to me, way better than bubbly soda.

4. I'm a singer/songwriter whose vocal range expanded to 4 octaves at one point (now it's 3 octaves, just need to stretch it out again).

5. I pursued my music career for 7 years and released 4 independent albums (2 solo, 2 group), had a development deal for a year on the East Coast though the indie label folded (so did my deal).

6. I tried out for American Idol Season 2 in 2002 and made it to Hollywood in the top 500.

7. Got to Audition for a local theater production of "RENT"...they liked my singing, though skeptical I could bring the character to LIFE. 

8. I've never cried while doing someone's hair in my 13 year career, thankfully!

9. I met Destiny's Child in 2005 and was speechless! Beyonce, Michelle and Kelly were amazing!

10. Had 2 bad celebrity experiences, one with Robin Thicke in 2010 and Kobe Bryant in 2005...not impressed whatsoever.

11. Every time I wake up extremely early for work (like 4 am) I feel drunk without having consumed liquor the night before. 

12. I do Hair/Make-Up because I love it, point blank!

13. I've cried while watching one of the "Rugrats" movies...Chuckie didn't have a Mommy (Oh Gosh)!

14. I'm a cookie monster...favorite being Mrs. Fields' Macadamia Nut....mmmmm!

15. I once stayed up for 48 hrs. straight and worked 16 hrs. each day (Ex-boyfriend drama)...was ready to pass out.

16. As a kid I wanted He-Man and wanted to be She-Ra (80's Cartoons).

17. Pizza is my all time favorite food ever...I can eat it for days!

18. Love Country music due to Tim McGraw, whom I've seen 6 times and want to go for a 7th time sometime soon.

19. Jermaine Jackson had a full on conversation with me 2 years ago at a beauty supply, asked for my card and I had no clue who he was until the cashier said, "Thank you Mr. Jackson"...yes I know...WOW!

20. In school I got an "A-" in Chemistry and a "C+" in Biology....go figure!

21. I've only been in "Love" once in my life (Age 15-18).

22. GOD is everything to me....and yes Gay Catholic Queen Bears do exist.

23. The most annoying thing to ever make me not like you is to NOT appreciate yourself for who you are...LOVE yourself no matter what...if not, this Queen will let you know the TRUTH.

24. Haters who hate on me show their colors very quick, my SILENCE makes them quiver and I have every nasty text ever sent to me saved in a wonderful file ready for HR to get a hold of should it ever go to that extent...go on..I DARE YOU!

25. As Selena herself said it best, "The impossible is possible"...thus far, thankfully I've achieved 85% of my dreams in 30 years, only 2 more to go...here's to the FUTURE!

"I Don't Want To Love Anybody Else"

LOVE is that much of a complicated term though it's one of the most easiest emotions to ever showcase to another human being. Do we ever fall out of love? In my opinion, NO...do we look for it elsewhere...YES, the unfortunate part of it all is that we're human and we look for LOVE on a constant basis, we want to feel it.

LOVE will make us do some crazy and off the wall things, though it also makes us come full circle ONLY if we are to accept what it brings us. Heartbreak is part of the ultimate package, in any relationship, for we know that nothing lasts forever in the physical realm, yet in our hearts, a LIFETIME isn't that far away. 

We choose who to LOVE, we choose who our hearts will belong to, and we also choose what LOVE really means to us. We have a little push at time from FATE herself, although 90% of the time it's all up to us. Once we're stuck on that certain someone, we're stuck for good! There's no going backwards, just forwards. 

We capture that certain way of LIFE...the certain way of LOVE where it begins, and 9 times out of 10, we have help, we don't fall in LOVE by ourselves. The enjoyment and naturally the fulfillment to be exact is everlasting, as beautiful as a painter's portrait of a "Medieval Sunset Sky". 

We will never forget what that feels like.

As LIFE hands it to us, LOVE isn't forever, and it isn't for everyone, yet a feel and taste of it is all we need to make sure we know what others around us at one point may be able to feel and describe. 

After years of not having to feel or see that enjoyment of the "Medieval Sunset Sky", I can see how it can dissipate into a simple dream and a fairy tale that once was the real deal. The sky can turn gray very easily and can make rain come down in every direction possible. The only negative aspect of that rain is the reality of time shed by the LOVE that was once alive and palpitating. 

Lesson learned...

Instead of having LOVE all bundled up in one basket...

Have it evenly spread so that it can reach a farther distance....

Learn to share it with others so that they can see what it can do...

As for where it once resided and for whom it belonged to,

"I Don't Want To Love Anybody Else"...

For that "Medieval Sunset Sky" came and went...

To live on for a LIFETIME.

"I Don't Know Much But I Know Myself"

There's much to learn about oneself especially when it comes to us aging year after year.

 The fear of getting "old" can get to us that we start believing that we're forgetting so much and that we're not as sharp as we once used to be. The sprout of gray hair tends to come over us and immediately we see it as "We're so OLD it's not even funny!" Our bodies start to loosen up in ways we never thought they would, and it becomes harder to tighten everything up. Of course, we see all the physical aspects start to take a different turn that we forget of the internal aspects that have taken residency inside our minds and hearts. 

Usually they say that with time we mature, we get a bit more stubborn and cling to dear LIFE for fear of not living it to the fullest. Maturity does seem to get to us, though not everyone experiences the same amount altogether. Being stubborn is something I know too well, in my experience with it,

there are reasons why I stick to my guns and why I do have a reason for every action I commit, and as long as logic makes sense, why not right?!

Living LIFE to the fullest for some reason makes it all come together because we have this sudden urge to accomplish what we've always wanted since we were kids, and as long as we achieve it, it's all good. 

 

Throw in a little twist of fate and then we ask ourselves, 

"Is this really what LIFE is all about?? Am I done after this?? What else do I need to do??"

We tend to search as much as possible to find the usual answer and yet we ignore what nature wants us to become and fulfill. That is what exactly???

To "Be" and "Know" ourselves no matter what flaws we have or want to see. Certain aspects of who we become will not be our favorite, though there's a reason why we are who we are. Other aspects will depict a deeper part of our hearts, while the rest will dictate our patience and love we have for those around us. Look at yourself deeply, and you'll find a unique person that's worthy of making this world a better place, and ALL because you are who you grew up to be. 

In the end,

you'll say to yourself,

"I Don't Know Much But I Know Myself"....

That's all that counts!

The Truth About the Jealousy Factor

Nothing goes hand in hand than knowing someone's after you for the only apparent reason there is: 

They're jealous and being a hater.

It pretty much goes together when it comes to any part of our lives whether it be a career path, a friendship, lifestyle and/or personal life choice. Ever wonder WHY haters are so prevalent or WHY they make themselves self destruct?? 

The answer is a simple one....

They're overloading on self pity and adrenaline in trying to compete with the rest of the world that their OWN world around them is not going as planned. It's pretty simple when in comes to Karma, as the Indian Religions have it best explained as the "Cause and Effect" cycle. 

Whatever you "cause", there will be an "effect".

In LIFE we experience every negative aspect from heartbreak, loss, sadness, and jealousy. It's hard to grow up and try to understand why we have to experience ANY of these negative aspects, and it seems like the younger we are the stronger it makes us,

 yet while the older we are the more it affects us. 

 

Personally I grew up with one of my siblings constantly having a heavy heart in him. I can tell you that I barely have ANY positive moments with hum, though the 4 moments I do have I cherish them dearly. Ever put a cat and a dog together in a cage?? Well hopefully you never have, though if you've seen it, the constant fighting and scratching you'd experience was exactly what we were like and unfortunately it still is the remaining factor between the two of us. Trying to put one foot in front of the other simply doesn't work, so therefore it's been best for us to keep separate for almost 9 years now, and you would think by now we would've worked out our differences, personally I know I have, though in his case he's dealing with his the last time I spoke to him. 

What can eat us up inside most times is the unknown of our own deception and disappointment. The more damage we cause ourselves the more we'll reflect it upon others and carefully start to see a change  and the way everyone else views us as well. 

I've seen the jealousy streak hit people like a pile of rocks, and it's quite scary to see it firsthand because you know that ANY kind of understanding the person ever had has gone out the window. ALL you'll ever hear is the TRUTH of what is really being felt from that point on, and I can tell you that it is VERY HARD to pull away, and once you do pull away, you'll feel and receive the negativity as well, and that's when you cut the cord indefinitely. 

The TRUTH About the Jealousy Factor is this:

See it, Recognize it, Pull Away, and Cut that Cord...

nothing and no one is worth the damage that comes along with it. 

The Weight of the World

The pressure, the unknown, the survival skills....

everything that has to do with catching up with ourselves and making sure we have it all together...

without failure....

is what makes us worried and not understand why....

we have the "Weight of the World" on our shoulders.

The pressure's on when it comes to making ourselves look like we have our home lives, our work schedules, our financial matters, and our relationships in tip top shape. We forget that ALL of what I just mentioned takes not only effort, it takes a lot of perseverance in keeping it together and keeping our minds sane enough so at night we can fall asleep. 

Now here's the deal though, WE make our lives this way. It's what we call the American Dream. The higher up you wish to go in LIFE the more you have to pay in SACRIFICE. 

Nothing will ever come easy, and if it does, 

it won't last, that we can be sure of. 

The "Weight of the World" can also contain who we desire to have around us while we reach up for toward the infinite skies. So many people give us that drive while others simply slow us down, wanting us to continue down their own personal path due to a lack of security. 

I speak a lot about insecurities because they're the unfortunate second nature in our being. We don't want to feel alone, we want to make sure we have company along side us so we can at least share at one point in time what misery we might be going through. 

In all sense of the term, "Misery loves Company", and that too can add more

 weight to any part of us. 

"With the sweet, comes the sour" and vice versa. There's always a clear sky after the storm, there will always be winds of change and there will always be opportunities to look back and reflect on what is needed to be let go and what is needed to be reinforced. 

In my own experience, every sacrifice has it's recompense, and every path has it's goal. 

Forget the Uncertainty and Strive toward the Unknown.

The "Feeling" I Buried

Nothing feels as good as when you know deep inside you've buried that ONE feeling that's been a haunting sting.

White flag after white flag you start to forget what it truly means to live for your own sake. You forget what an achievement feels like, and all of the sudden everything just combines itself and it's like any other day. Everytime you get hurt it actually barely phases you, it feels like a tiny scratch because nothing compares to what the "Feeling" is and what it did to you (What I did to myself). 

The "Feeling" even began to be my home. I melted altogether to seek what was literally nothing. How can a person even get out of that state of mind you ask??? Well,  LOTS of cookies!!! I tell you, I could've endorsed Oreo and Chips Ahoy. 

LIFE seems to be a blur for a lot of the last couple years, and I usually have a good memory. Friends tell me things that I have no recollection of. I started to think of myself as one big mindless blob that couldn't remember even the past 2 years.....that's how much the "Feeling" took over. 

It used to take over at night, it used to haunt my dreams even up to the last couple months. I had a knot that wouldn't go away in my throat and a speed bump in my head that kept me right where I didn't want to be. Sad but true.

As it was put to me in one of my therapy sessions, the "Feeling" is a thin vail that kept hanging over me. As lifeless and as thin as this vail was, it had the weight of a ton of bricks with a steel foundation. No matter how many songs I wrote, how much I would drown in stories of love, or how many times I desired to rise above, I couldn't lift it until I burned the vail and buried the "Feeling", what was left of it.

I buried it in you.

"To get yourself a new life, You've got to give the other one away"

I must have a thing for "Sara's" in this world because I'm addicted to another musician named Sara...Bareilles that is!

She's inspired a few of my other blogs before, and today, she's inspired another one.

Today when I arrived to my hair shift at NBC, As I was blowing hair out for one of my news anchors, Sara came on the Today Show singing one of her songs as promotion for her new album that debuted today called "The Blessed Unrest". 

Of course I kept blow drying my news anchor, thankfully I was near finished with the blow drying part and just needed to style her, and as I was doing so, Sara's voice kept soothing us in the background. So much that just now, as I was listening to her new album, a specific song captivated me, aptly titled, "December".

Could be taken as a love song, though my interpretation is that of a person having a rough year, and all the while experiencing the urge of change just as December has set in. Even though it's usually a gloomy weathered month and can be a bit restless on our downtime, it's the month of going out with the 'OLD' and start 'NEW'. Yet December leaves a lasting impression on us being that at one point, we could control it, and there comes a point where we can't anymore. Just as Sara herself states, it's always been a 'problem child'. 

It's the perfect way to describe what most of us feel around that month. Though it's an important Holiday month, it can add the pressure of becoming one of the toughest months of the year. Change is always upon us at that time, sometime between the 26th-31st. Christmas doesn't seem to linger for some reason, and as soon as the 26th comes along, we're ready to change everything we don't want to be a part of any longer. Although we're looking forward to another year, we have a hard time letting go of the extra baggage that clings on us. We seem to want to bring it along for the ride into the following  era of 'Change'. 

It unfortunately doesn't work that way. As written and sung in this song, 

 

"Distill a whole year down into a day,
Act like we all start over with a pristine slate,
But to get yourself a new life you've got to give the other one away." 

 

Yet,

 

"And I'm starting to believe in the power of a name
Cause it can't be a mistake if I just call it change."
 

 

It CAN'T be a mistake if we WE just call it CHANGE. 

Leave the past to what it simply is and look forward to the new and soon to be improved...

should we choose to look at it that way.

Here's The Thing...

Believe in ANYTHING you want....

Do WHATEVER it is your heart desires....

MAKE yourself into whomever you'd like to become....

However....

Don't EVER blame others for your own mistakes

and

Don't EVER believe you're ABOVE anyone or anything.

Many things happen in life to where at times we cannot explain the outcome were facing right in front of us. We want to UNDERSTAND so much that it's best to just let situations unravel at their own pace. Quite the struggle right?!

 Many years ago my mentor had said this exact statement to me:

"The Holy Spirit comes with many gifts for you, and ONE of the most important he bestows upon you is the gift of UNDERSTANDING. There will come a day where you won't UNDERSTAND what's going on at the exact time you're faced with the TRUTH, yet that day will be the day you will feel you truly UNDERSTAND inside and out why things are the way they became."

Of course I felt severely confused when he said this to me, I even told him he was crazy and his CLEAR response was:

"I am crazy!! Crazy for GOD!"

He is now a Deacon and a great one might I add. 

When learning to deal with UNDERSTANDING, many forms of individuals come our way, in and out of our lives in order for us to learn from each other. Many will test us along with wanting to see what will become of us if we choose NOT to UNDERSTAND. Needless to say, buttons will be pushed to our absolute limit. of course, it's better to see things from an outside perspective and allow the action of UNDERSTANDING take its rightful place, 

no matter what our feelings are on the inside. 

  What makes this a victory is the fact that no matter what's been said and/or what's been done, CHOOSING to let others become what it is they've always wanted to become is the greatest form of UNDERSTANDING that could be shown and expressed. You let others be and take care of their own selves for once and who knows, maybe in due time they'll have their epiphany of what it truly means to UNDERSTAND others and why the world is the way it is. 

I myself have taken the responsibility of allowing others to blame their frustrations and poor choices on me... why you ask?  I know the day will come for them to face the world on their own without having a shield and they will be FORCED to UNDERSTAND the many wonders of the world's outcome. They will come to appreciate one day this gift of UNDERSTANDING for what it truly means on the inside as well as on the outside. 

NOTHING and NO ONE is greater on this earth than the one that allows us to conceptualize what it means to UNDERSTAND...and even then, we will continue to learn and teach others about our experiences for the GREATER GOOD.