To Desire What You Don't Have

As a man in his late 20's, I can say that what I DON'T have is probably what's best for me for the time being. Why? For some reason I've had this belief for the longest time that the main reason why I DON'T have what I've always desired is because I'm simply not ready for it...at some point in LIFE, you have to be ready and willing to accept what comes your way, and NOT misuse it.

When I was little I always dreamed of having my own Volkswagen Beetle, a red one. I always desired to be like my Uncle Luis and own my salon one day and I always wanted to have the opportunity to be onstage and sing my booty off!

Well, at the age of 24, I became the owner of a Gunmetal Grey Beetle, I became a hairstylist at the age of 19 (working on owning my own salon), and I was able to pursue my singing career from age 18-25 (participating in the audition process for American idol Season 2, released 2 solo and 2 group records, and doing Praise & Worship in the Church Choir).

All of it came pretty much at once, but I do have to say that I enjoyed every second of it while it lasted, as far as my music days went. I still have my Beetle and I make sure all is taken care of for my little one, and I just completed 10 years in the Hair industry, with having reached many accolades and still trying to reach for the stars! As I was able to reach each DESIRE, it took literally every working aspect that my body and soul could give to show the world what I really wanted to showcase..which was obviously what I didn't have.

DESIRE

To long or hope for

It's simple to give up on your DESIRE because you get caught up in the moment, yet, ALL that is needed is a little push...ANYONE can DESIRE what they DON'T have, yet, once you get to reap the benefits of your hard work, one by one, your inner world will be at ease and there will be more room for OPPORTUNITY, a step up from DESIRE  : )

"I come home to ME, I belong to ME, I am worth ME"

As I see the world and it's different sides every week, instead of trying to make sense out of it, I simply put myself in and take myself out when necessary! What does this mean exactly? Pretty much that instead of trying to fit in a certain situation, I adapt to what it is at the moment, and at the end of the day, I come back home to ME...it's safer that way : )

So many out there are dealing with loss, confusion, anger, disappointment, complacency, etc. The world isn't at it's best whatsoever, at the same time, what can make a better world is 1 person, one step at a time, and a genuine smile.

As most of you that have spoken to me, and I say this now so it's out there in the Universe, that the main focus in order to survive LIFE is a steady foundation...one where if anything was to shake it up at any time, instead of tumbling, it would be more of a mild shake and then become an after thought. Most of the time, certain comments and actions can hurt our hearts and then have us question our future actions and direction..and I've found this with so called "friends".

In one of the many cases I can share is that of certain "friends" that supposedly have had my best interest at heart, yet, it was their greed that led them down the distorted and unhappy path they unfortunately lead now. In the past I've always trusted everyone, meaning that in my head, I never thought that anyone could have a mean bone in their body, yet, when it came to what I do for a living, their greed got in the way, and of course me, I didn't even question let alone blink to what was it really that they were after, until what we like to call, "push came to shove", and that's where it ALL got laid out on the table. It started to become more apparent of, "Hey, how are you? I need THIS done or I need THAT done, and it HAS to be done within a time frame!" and the constant interruption when I was talking only for them to say, "Yeah, so this is what I want to look like.."...WOW!

So then it clicked like a snap on button to me! They don't care about what goes on in my life, they care about what I can give them and if I can deliver....sad but TRUE!

So of course I started to examine how I could initially handle this and how important their "friendship" was to me, UNTIL I came to know, that I gained NOTHING from their "friendship"! I went through the initial LOSS, CONFUSION, ANGER, DISAPPOINTMENT, and COMPLACENCY feelings, and was mad at myself for letting it go this far! At the same time, it was important for me to go through this to show MY place in their lives.

Have I since stopped associating myself with those "friends"?..YES, and there have been more than 5 of them. Do I take a second look at who I allow in my LIFE now?.. Most definitely YES! I would stay in those situations and contemplate on them for days on end, it was exhausting! Now I've been able to solidify my foundation enough to withstand the shakes. It also get a little easier when I have to be in certain places with certain people whom I don't necessarily "click" with..I adapt and take myself out when needed.

YOU also have that choice...YOU can come home to YOU, make sure YOU belong to YOU, and know that YOU are worth YOU!

"I come home to ME, I belong to ME, I am worth ME"

-Erik Velasco

A Letter To You (Pt.2)

Dear You,

Hope all is as it should be for you this week! As i had explained earlier in the week, mine would be fun yet filled with work related escapades, something you're far too familiar with, which is a good thing!

Everyday on my social network sites I try to find an inspirational quote that comes from my own heart, and today was about how LIFE can be filled with so much of everything, yet it's LIFE that brings it all together in the end. I was feeling enclosed at that very moment that I wrote it, that when it came out, it was as if I had released everything that had such pressure and weighing on my shoulders. As much as others express that they need those words I give the world, I too need to be reminded of them, where in every aspect, it's a win win situation.

I received a special task this week, ONE that I couldn't say "NO" to because for some reason or the other, it was MEANT for me to carry on what will be a trying yet shaky time for my gifts. I didn't understand what my initial task was until my mentor made it clear to me, then it ALL made sense!

This is my task:

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

"To love someone regardless of the loved one's qualities or actions"

It was also explained to me that it would change the dynamic of the entire situation completely, and I must be completely honest, it is because of this task, in which I had before, that I had strayed away from my heart for years. I was afraid of being broken and I fought for so long to get myself together again, that I HAD to ask myself, would I risk it all over again? 

Then I was told that it is because of "Unconditional Love" that Iwas able to grow and survive what I had gone through before. Therefore, I now know what is going to be lying up ahead and need to get my mind and soul together and be well prepared.

All I can say is, together, we'll get through it and succeed, with the help of "Unconditional Love"!

Well, until next time, I will be keeping you posted on the updates, making sure YOU know every step of the way : )

Have a great night and be safe out there in the world!

Love & Respect,

-Me-

A Reason for Everything

This is a very touchy subject matter due to thousands of opinions, although, one way or another, we've all experienced what this saying truly is:

A Reason for Everything

Is there such a thing as coincidence? Is there such a thing as good luck? Is there such a thing as being at the right place at the right time? 

All of these questions are valid and yet throughout our lives, there's always a point where WE decide for ourselves, based on our experiences, which ones make the most sense altogether. I firmly believe that there's a reason for the following:

-->Heartbreak
-->Accidents
--> Double Standards
                                                    -->Final Decisions
                                                    -->Tears
                                                    -->Hurt

What do ALL of these have in common? Yes they're bad circumstances, yet they're circumstances where were able to stand tall afterward and say that we survived some of the worst times this life has to offer us. At the same time, it all depends on how each person takes it once having gone through it.

Being rational and making sure steering clear of ANY hidden emotion that plague the human heart is key. What can we gain after having hit ANY rock bottom circumstance???

Strength, Clarity, and Peace of Mind

Strength--> The ability to have gained all around consciousness and being able to surpass a difficult task without having to break the soul.

Clarity-->The ability to be able to think clearly without having to question oneself over and over again and being able to make a thought out judgment with the help of STRENGTH. 

Peace of Mind-->The ability to be at ease with oneself and not have anxiety constantly polluting the mind, being able to see "through the FOG" with the help of CLARITY.

With anything bad, comes good.....

     What comes down, must go up at some point.........

           With any void comes re-invention.......

A puzzle can only be completed once the player realizes the full image and see's it for it's image...it is then when he/she also realizes the importance of time lapsed...there's 

A Reason for Everything!

I Still...

This is one of my favorite songs from the Backstreet Boys! I recently went to go see them along with The New Kids on the Block, and let me just tell you, my friend and I were ENAMORED with them!!! Although, this song was not performed,  which didn't surprise me because this wasn't one of their biggest hits, which actually makes me LOVE it that much more : )

"I Still..." deals with the aftermath of a relationship where one side is still lingering and hanging on to what was. 

Typical broken love song, but yet, one where the TRUTH is so apparent! Tell me that this isn't what we ALL go through when THE END of any relationship has come full circle???!

There's a specific line in the chorus that for me just struck a chord (pun intended!), and it reads as follows:

I still need you,
I still care about you,
Though everything's been said and done,
I still feel you,
Like I'm right beside you,
But still no word from you.

For some reason, I tend to believe that by NOT receiving word from that "person" is actually for the best. I have friends and family at the present time that would actually want to hear from the "person" just to see what they're up to. Deep inside though it's the curiosity to see if they're much better off now than how they once were in the relationship, more of a confirmation to the soul and ease to the heart.

To ALL my heartbroken loves out there:

I've said this to myself and have said it to others as well, when you FEEL that time has run out in ANY relationship, it's O.K. to say "This is as far as I'll go". Yes of course Fear is going to come about and say, "What if you can't live without them...Is this the best decision for you?....Am I being a hypocrite?...Am I running away for NO reason?"..and well, let me say, let Fear talk it's ugly head off, but decipher the valid points from the UNNECESSARY ones and let them GO. It's absolutely human nature to want to go back to what once was, but let me pose this question on you, Is your heart going to be fulfilled because you went back to comfort OR is your mind going to be encased in the never ending  thought of "What If"? Every case is different and at ANY given point, you can choose to believe that you're the only one in the world to feel the sorrow of Doubt and Hurt, but truthfully, LIFE won't be or get any better until you have the courage to say, "What's done..is DONE!" 

If by any chance you feel yourself saying, "I Still...", allow yourself to STILL care for them, allow yourself to STILL feel for them, allow yourself to STILL smile at what once was....only NOW, allow yourself to RENEW and RESTART what matters most.... 

YOU!

It's the DETAIL that counts!

As a kid, I never required much attention...in my teens, I required A LOT of attention...as an adult, the less personal attention the better...but one thing is for sure:

As I like less personal attention these days, I also love when someone pays attention to the smallest detail of a simple smile, wave, text, and/or my personal favorite, a HUG!

Pretty much, it's the detail that counts!

These days I'm lucky if I get a genuine "Hi how are you" without the good 'ol question following, "Can you do my hair?" Believe me I'm not complaining at all, this comes with the territory, but there is a difference when someone is wanting to hear you out  and see what you're up to compared to someone who just wants something done for them.

By detail, it always feels good when you get a text or a call that says, "Hope you have a great day!" or "Thinking of you"..it warms the heart! The other day a friend of mine brought me my favorite type of Arizona Tea in the middle of my work day..man was my face gleaming! I have some really close clients that bring me treats or even lunch at times and it means the world to me! That is unbelievable detail ; )


Listening is a HUGE part of detail...I genuinely listen to every client that sits in my chair and see what they're up to and how they're feeling. I always want to make sure they're best personality aspect is ready to shine by the time they leave those salon doors. I never knew how powerful the art of listening could be until I started my career 10 years ago. I love to see how LIFE is so different for everyone, especially when I get to hear both the good and "not so good" parts, it's what makes us HUMAN.

A smile and a wave can surely make a person's day when it is genuinely done. I can detect a fake smile and wave from a mile away, I've had those type of clients too! It's true that one never knows what someone else is going through until you wave and smile at them and/or have it done to you. It creates such ease and lots of comfort, and believe it or not, for some, it heals that one part of them that is torn.

Oh but the HUGS!!! When you get a hug that stems from HERE to SPACE, man that just makes your whole month!!!! You can really show a person how much you care depending on how strong your hug is. Oh, and if you swing back and forth, it creates such tenderness and a great feeling that lasts for the rest of the day. In case you're wondering, YES I am a hugger!!! My brothers and sisters always get a HUGE HUG from me, I love them all!! My close friends, they get the swinging kind of HUG, and whenever I've had someone special, they get the strong-caressed hug...see, a HUG can have a thousand meanings : )

 So to those who just give a mild hug, half a smirk, a signed card with no message...remember that:

It's the DETAIL that counts!

Give a HUG, a Smile, a Wave : )

Happy??? Hmmm... Whats the catch?

The thought and feeling go as follow:

"I'm feeling so good right now! Everything is making sense, there's enough to go around, I feel empowered, and there's nothing that can make me feel otherwise!"

Until....

"Is this real or is there something that's going to happen to ruin my happiness?"

The truth is y'all....it's called PARANOIA!

When feeling good, why not go with it instead of doubting and having to succumb to the negative side of energy?! It's TRUE what they say...however you think is EXACTLY what you're going to attract..simple as that!

Not to say that you're always gonna be happy or that you're never gonna feel down and all you want to do is eat everything in sight, but as always, there's a time for everything in it's rightful place.

As a child that came from a broken home, it was devastating when my parents grew apart, yet seeing everything my 2 older siblings and I did, it was meant for the best. For so long after that I had to deal with 2 sides of EVERYTHING and having to please my Mom and my Dad on every request that was asked of me. Very difficult for a 9 year old but I managed somehow. I remember having to see my Mom date and having to deal with how the way I felt, it was very unnerving and I remember thinking, "This is just wrong! I want my family back!" I knew deep inside that my family would never be the same after the divorce, but yet a priest at that time in church happen to say in one of his homily's, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"

So years after my Mom happened to marry and I was such an angry teen! I felt like she was just thinking about herself and not wanting to know what our true feelings were about it. This is why I would lock myself in my room, design clothes, designed hairstyles, and recorded my favorite music shows of my favorite artists..it was "ME" time and it was what made me happy. Whenever I had the opportunity to be in my world I would take full advantage of it, and when those Happy Moments came to me, I ALWAYS used to think:

"What is going to ruin my smile now? Is my Mom going to yell at me? Is she going to want me to participate in family time? Is she going to tell me I need to do something for HER yet again? Am I grounded yet again?"

So basically,  earlier when my parents got divorced, it was my Mom that had presented the divorce to my Dad, so from that moment on I was expecting her to ruin ALL my Happy Moments , and OH did my Mom have her way lots of times!!! Yet I never looked at my Happy Moments and took them in as I should have. Now I look back and see a lot of times where I was Happy and I automatically would stop myself from enjoying what I loved most, my ARTS..cause I was so worried that I was waiting to look for the catch that would ruin everything. Talk about a "Debbie Downer" and a "Negative Nancy" combined!

Paranoia had set in from age 9, I still have it here and there, but now I'm able to enjoy ALL the good and Happy moments GOD has brought me!

Again, I always remember what our priest said in that specific homily, and now I will say it to all of you to remind yourselves to enjoy your Happy moments :

"What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"

P.S. My Mom and I have a good understanding now : )