you've thought over and over and over again about making your LIFE your OWN....finally!!!
Your OWN thoughts, your OWN imagination, and last but never least, your OWN lead on your OWN path...phew!! You're FREE!!!
If there's anything you could've done better, you just did it! The "shy" might say you hid and ran away, although the TRUTH is...you did this for YOU...a little BIG thing we like to call:
Break Away
Now as you feel rejuvenated with a whole new sense of YOU...you might be asking yourself,
"Now where do I go?" Well, good question that has a simple yet a definitive answer:
Pick Up the Pieces
Usually after freeing yourself from such a blind place in LIFE, you find yourself in pieces, GOOD pieces, one over here, the other over there, one up above, the other down somewhere. Don't think of it as a "thousand piece puzzle" that will take forever to solve...the good thing is that now you know where YOU stand and YOU have a blank foundation to start the building of the new YOU, this time around, YOU get to call the shots and allow yourself to fit the pieces where you WANT them to fit instead of MAKING them fit..there's a huge difference, and a positive one at that!
Sounds easy, and very much like a piece of cake...although it will take time, strength, and a lot of soul searching...the BEST aspect about this whole escapade is that it's your OWN...it's yours!!!
Open your heart, look inside, and there you'll find...YOU!
Surround yourself with ALL the LOVE and LIGHT you can find to make YOU the best YOU could ever possibly be <3
P.S. I'm living proof of this becoming a success...it CAN and WILL be done!
Questioning yourself to death makes LIFE a little harder to come by at times. When it comes to wanting to see yourself through your own eyes, it can be hard to see the REAL you, the REAL person that stands in front of the mirror. Some of us kid ourselves by saying, "Oh I'm fine, I'm able to snap out of this funk"..when in retrospect, we sink deeper in judging ourselves.
2 aspects were all filled with and are born with until we experience the trauma of the real world:
TRUST & TRUTH
TRUST-->Reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
TRUTH-->The true or actual state of a matter
If you don't know me by now, I speak a lot about TRUST..it's a HUGE factor for me when it comes to a friend or family member within my inner circle. We ALL have this inside, at times we lose it, even at times in our actions, yet somehow we seem to recover..at least I hope we do!
TRUTH I have to say is hard to come by these days... especially when people are giving you what you want to hear. If anything, it's a twist of the TRUTH. Not to say you can't find truthful people because you can, but they're harder to detect unless they show you right away what they're all about. We ALL come with TRUTH inside as well, though as we grow older, we seem to hide it for not having to hurt others along the way.
In reality this is what lies inside of us, if we exercise it as much as we exercise our vices, then we'd be in a whole different state of mind! We tend to doubt our choices, our ability to be conscience (figuratively speaking) and yet we expect to be alert 100% of the time..yeah not gonna happen darlin'!
I always say that a smile can give a thousand words, and so can a fake smile...be careful which one you give, for your TRUST can be deceived by your own TRUTH, or lack there of.
"Don't Look Back" is by a band that I discovered in 2005 back in the wonderful world of Starbucks! I heard this song and it kept my interest the whole time I was there (it was a looong line). When I came up to the register, I ordered my drink, and asked the employee who was on the radio...she then picked up the CD next to me and said, "Them!"...and as I read the name, it captivated me even more! The name was:
ANTIGONE RISING
They had been highly recommended by Rob Thomas(Matchbox-Twenty) saying that their "sound was unlike any other band out there"...so therefore I got the CD and till this day, I hear at least one song of the album every time I'm in the car, it's that good!
"Don't Look Back" talks about the strength that one possesses once having gone through the mourning process of losing that special someone. Notice the word STRENGTH...it's exactly what Antigone Rising wrote about in every single one of their songs.
I'd have to say the strongest lyric in this song has to be in the first half of the chorus which reads:
"Take your promise take your pain
Take your restless heart
If you go
go all the way
Don't look back "
It's completely what you feel once you've been restored and don't want that person who once occupied a space in your heart to come back with their drama and mess.
So many times I always looked back at my decisions, at my choices, and my actions of why LIFE took a turn the way it did...I would sulk to no end and fixate on every word that either myself or the other person had mentioned in our conversation. Then I would ask GOD to please take the pain, take these memories and erase them from my head, to never let them come back until I was ready to face them..which was NEVER!
Lately I've had a rush of, "Well, this person and this person don't talk to me anymore, and this person thinks I'm the spawn of all evil, and this person wasn't pleased with what I did for them..", and to be quite honest, I'm not fighting to keep my sanity over the people who think I did them wrong. If this was 5 to six years ago, then for sure, I would've made an effort to keep them in my LIFE to simply keep THEM happy. What sense does that make?
Needless to say, for instance, I haven't spoken to one of my brothers for the past 6 years, because I finally found it pointless to always want to keep the line of communication open, especially since there's no effort coming from him. The last time I saw him was on his wedding day, then as time kept going by, I started to focus on what was the best thing for us both as adults, unfortunately, you know how I always mention that at times were searching for the answer without there ever being a question asked, well, my answer came just like that..SILENCE came and SILENCE is what we both had in common. He was already with one foot out the door, so why make him stay?!
I've made my peace with missing him and not knowing anything about him. Like the song says,
"Cuz in my heart you've been gone so long
that I won't miss you that bad"
He's my brother, I'll always love him and care for him, it's a given. Although GOD did grant me a second chance at an older brother, and I'm making sure I'm keeping ALL lines of communication open this time around to this day. He may not be my blood, but to ME he is, he's close to me just like any older brother would be and he cares, just like I do. Second chances do come around believe it or not, just make sure you do things differently than the first time.
It just sucks when you blame yourself for others' lack of consideration. To me, ANYONE who believes that there isn't a resolution to our lack of communication, I'm not willing to fight to keep you believing you deserve to be in my LIFE, and I'm not looking back to hold on to you.
These days...if you see a person close to you with one foot out the door, let them go, and remember:
"If you go
go all the way
Don't look back"
You still learn from them, and, better opportunities are yet to come!
Decisions, choices, and opportunities all come in a complete package together to fit the mold to our paths of LIFE. Can we really say that we are putting our best judgment on the line to get the best outcome without having an AFTERTHOUGHT?
Well, an AFTERTHOUGHT comes usually after we see the results to our decisions, choices and opportunities. It's defined as the following:
An idea, response, or explanation that occurs to one after an event or decision.
A lot of us today all around the world are questioning our career choices and whether or not we are on
the right path that fit our needs. I personally chose mine 10 years ago and have since expanded my realm to the best of my ability to make sure I'm able to not only reach those within my industry, but yet expand myself into a larger audience within certain limits. I never thought that I would even give my career an AFTERTHOUGHT besides doing hair and pleasing clients left and right. As I've experienced 10 years of my industry, I have a lot to say and the time is NOW to be heard. In this case, my AFTERTHOUGHT(s) have really given me the wings I needed to fly and experience LIFE in a whole different way.
A lot of us all around the world are questioning our OWN happiness as well, our OWN right to live happily, so then, why is it that we feel so trapped? Could it be that we have no other options? Or maybe even fear to truly live out what we want for ourselves? Whichever the case, I've found that it's all about the influences we surround ourselves with. Positive forces allow us to think clearly, to really make the right and precise choices that truly fit our inner and outer being. Negative forces won't allow anything to really make sense, they put a dense fog in our path and won't allow us to see what we need, instead, it's all about them. So many times I've been caught up with people whom I think mean well (this includes family, friends, etc). I even give them MORE than the benefit of the doubt. It isn't until I see that ONE action that really shows the selfish side when I see their true demeanor, I see how they've plagued my vision, and then I ultimately decide to cut the strings to get rid of the excess weight and negativity, without them, happiness is the one thing that I'm able to gladly have back. In this case, the AFTERTHOUGHT(s) may have taken a while to develop, it took a selfish act to make them come to life, yet I was able to get to where I WANTED to be in the nick of time.
The AFTERTHOUGHT is there for a reason, it counts. It's not just a word that doesn't make sense of it's own meaning, it may not really mean much at the time, yet once fully experienced, you'll start to develop the need to carry it around with you as a part of your everyday logic.
It's not being pessimistic, it's being SAFE in every aspect of LIFE.
As I was searching for a subject matter to give all of you today, I asked a friend of mine if he had any suggestions for tonight, and he brought up the unfortunate events today in Seal Beach, CA at the Hair Salon shooting. So unfortunate, and such a senseless act of rage that took away 8 lives today in a matter of seconds. As the story is unraveling by the hour, I dedicate this blog to those who lost their lives in this unfortunate tragedy and to their loved ones.
We live in a world now where LIFE is in the fast lane, were late for work, late for a meeting, a date, in any case, late for a lot of things, yet, were hardly ever conscious of what our everyday luxuries are, especially with our family and loved ones.
I've heard stories where couples didn't get to say "I Love You" to their spouse, and before they knew it, their spouses never came home due to an unfortunate event caused by LIFE itself. I've heard other stories concerning children, parents, best friends, even pets. Movies in Hollywood even portray scenarios that are heartbreaking, they really make you reflect on what LIFE can offer you, at the same time, what LIFE can really do when you least expect it.
In any case, when GOODBYE comes early and you're left with nothing but heartache, you really start questioning the meaning of your direction, the sacrifices you take everyday to make your world happen. Some sink into a deep depression and isolate themselves wanting the earth to rise over them, while others forge ahead to make sense out of what's left and pick up the pieces to their broken mirror of LIFE. In this matter, what do you do?Are you supposed to be strong? Are you not supposed to show any emotion? Are you to break down everywhere you go? Are you to hate the "Higher Power" for shattering your mirror of LIFE?
The answer....
do as your heart responds. If you hurt, are angry, don't want to see anyone, or even if you want to go through it yourself, do as your heart responds to the unforeseen events. It's hard to say that you are NOT to get mad at GOD, that you are to rejoice in the situation for they're in a much better place. If I may though, above all, GOD understands what you're going through, he's not there to spite you, he's there for you to give ALL your emotions, ALL that you feel so that BOTH you and HIM can go through the pain, damage and repairs together. For some, it may take a while, and well, LIFE is about experiencing all there is to feel, LIFE is about accepting what comes our way, making sure that WE continue to live OUR LIVES to the best of our ability.
We are NEVER to forget what once was, We are to make LIFE better one step at a time,
even when Goodbye is least Expected.
Concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.
For some reason, I've been seeing this action a lot lately! Unfortunately, it's been plaguing the hearts of many, due to a lack of personal acknowledgment.
When I was younger between the ages of 13-16 I had my selfish years. I felt like everybody had to do everything for me and had to buy every item for me. I felt deserving of people's time and money, and was always looking for approval from everyone around me no matter if I didn't even need it .
Booooy did I ever get a rude awakening!
Of course after constantly repeating these actions I felt what a normal person would naturally feel: EMPTY!
I was stagnant as a teen, I felt the urge to want to change my ways yet in my selfish little big head, I wanted to continue to make people feel like I was the most important "thing" on earth. Until the day came when my Mom put me in check after raising my voice at her in front of my stepfather.
I was invited to a friend's house to go watch an event on T.V. and I had TOLD my Mom, not asked, TOLD her that I was to be at his house by no later than 6 pm. Well on the day of, my Mom had told me that she didn't know if she could take me at all, due to her having a lot to do around the house. So then, in the kitchen, as she was washing dishes, and as my Stepfather was crossing her path behind her, I abruptly said, "FINE! I don't have to be anywhere at all! Since I'm always trapped here with nothing to do!" I then stormed into my room, and as I closed the door, my Mom opened it right back up and said, "The only reason you're still breathing is because Tony (my Stepfather) was in the room, so you better thank him for me not burying you alive! Secondly, I owe you nothing! It's my choice to see that you go to your event, therefore, I suggest you change your tone and help me out if you want to get out of here alive! You selfish piece of good for nothing!"
I'm not kidding you, from that moment on, I didn't need to reflect on anything my Mom had said, I heard her loud and clear, and I felt so ashamed for having acted the way I had been acting for so long. I wasn't understanding or sympathetic whatsoever, I wanted everything for me, everything to come to me on a silver patter without cause or repercussion. Later on at my friend's event, I was so quiet the whole time, even my friend was asking me if I was OK. When my Mom picked me up from my friend's house, on the ride home, in the silence of it all, I apologized to my Mom for the way I acted and for how I'd been treating her. She simply stated, "I just want you to appreciate what we have and the opportunities we have when we get them, this is a luxury to us, not a must, know and understand the difference."
For those of you who know when I say, "Look at every opportunity and decide whether to take it or not"...this came from my Mom, I have her to blame..in a good way : )
Overall, what I'm trying to say is, if you feel like the world owes you everything in it's Universe and you feel entitled to everyone's time, take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror and see the TRUTH before someone else makes you see it!
In songs, poems, love spouts, and even when you have a best friend, the word "Forever" appears....and yet, there's that "Debbie Downer" that comes along and says, "You know, 'Forever' isn't promised!" It isn't, yes, although there's a way where "Forever" can live for ALL to see and know all about it.
Human LIFE is pretty standard if you really think about it, were born, go to school for 13 straight years, then were left on our own to figure out our paths, date, get married, have kids, and repeat the process to the next generation. So my question is this:
Is there a way, somehow, that the next generation can appreciate the special attributes that WE once endured and have it live "Forever"?
My answer...YES!
In my generation in my family, my parents were hard workers and raised me and my siblings with the best ethics they had to bestow upon us. Some were harsh lessons and others were just a matter of basic knowledge.
My Dad had multiple jobs like myself and actually had his own company name,
"Velasco Carpet Care". He worked long hard hours and at times he had to work weekends to make sure we had everything covered as far as bills, school supplies, clothes, food, and vacation savings. I remember he would caress my back and all I would feel were his cuts on his fingers, and I would ask him, "Dad are you OK?" He would say, "Of course I am, these cuts are healed, and seeing all of you here is worth every cut".
My Mom was a stay at home Mom until her and my Dad divorced. It was then when I was able to experience and see how bad my Mom wanted to give us the best things that LIFE could offer us. Times were tough, at one point rice and beans were all we had to eat, luckily, my Mom never frowned and we made do with what we had. I remember she would ask us, "We have $10 to spare, do you guys want to rent 2 movies at Blockbuster Video or go to Pizza Hut?" That in itself was a treat for us! She also worked multiple jobs to make sure nothing was missing from our lives.
To this day both my Mom and Dad work to make ends meet and show no signs of stopping. Their work and LIFE ethics continue to be as bright as a shining star. These days my siblings and myself help in any way we can to support them both so they too can appreciate and live LIFE to the fullest.
I myself have my Dad's work ethic and nonstop devotion to earn what I've always wanted. I followed in his footsteps and carry 'Busy Little Queen & Company' loud and proud. I also have my Mom's vision of what hard work really means. I make sure and am fully aware of my financial organization and how I'm able to to make it month after month, year after year. They both see my accomplishments and know they raised a perfectly good and responsible 'Next Generation'.
I know that ONE day when they're no longer here, what I learned and what has made me who I am will ALWAYS live on and I will make sure the next generation knows how Grandma and Grandpa were able to make their efforts and struggles into a positive motivation and into a domino effect that will last... FOREVER!
