Thursday, March 29, 2012

You know the Who, Yet, You question the Why...

In a way I'm sad to be closing this March "Selena-Fest" blog....she's such a great inspiration and continues to be that everytime I talk about her, my mouth wants to run away with me! She never leaves my mind or my heart, let alone what I do for a living,
 since she inspires it so much to this day.

A lot of you have loved what I've been able to uncover about Selena and her continuous journey through the world she has no longer been a part of since17 years ago. There are so many other stories out there that one can go on forever...I can my opinion, that must be one of the hardest parts about her memory especially for her family still to this day.

We know Selena, the artist, the entertainer who had drawn a crowd of 65,000 into the Houston Astrodome right before her departure, the artist who was daring enough to wear bustiers onstage and sparkled "bra's" on Spanish Television, the artist who took an opportunity to launch her own clothing line and stores to expand her empire, the artist who took the time to sign every piece of paper for fans who would ask her for an autograph, the artist who won the Grammy for Best Mexican/American Album in 1994, the artist who loved to wear her red lipstick...the artist who had Jennifer Lopez play her in a movie in 1997...this is who Selena is to the world.

Selena on the other end was a daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, a friend, a best friend, a niece, a granddaughter, a confidant, she was simply Selena. Beneath the glitz and glamor was a simple woman who stood her ground and her values of life's many turns and ventures. She would cut the grass if she needed to at her home, dust her home as any of us would, get frustrated with life if she had an opportunity, pay her bills as needed, and made sure to take care of those she really cared for. By the age of 23 and shy 2 weeks of turning 24, she had LIFE and all it's doors open and she was watering her seeds as she needed to. There was a lot more in her head to plan for the future, her intimate life as well as that of her artistic one.

This year on April 16th she would've turned 41 years of age, by now, who's to tell how far she would've reached in the world, we can only dream of it happening as we talk about her as every year passes by. Although if you look at her record sales and how her image and story continues to inspire so many people all around the world, that alone should tell you that it's a glimpse of what she would've been capable of had she been with us still. To her family and close friends, they lost an essential part of their LOVE, and have since had to rebuild it back up wound by wound. Something so difficult and unimaginable unless you live it yourself.

Many to this day still ask this question though,

"Why is Selena so important?"

For one, she was a positive influence and an inspiration to a lot of people, even her husband Chris Perez has said before that he never knew up to what magnitude Selena had inspired so many out there, how many lives she had touched until the outpouring love was coming to him and her family at the time of her passing. She was kind to the entertainment industry, those who worked on her videos, her music productions, her concerts, you will never hear about Selena throwing a fit about her sound check or her craft service table or what angle she looked good or bad in. Her interviews were always in depth and every question was always answered to the best of her ability and knowledge. She was a true professional. She was a 'go-getter', she wanted to reach a wider audience and she would take chances. Her smile alone was infectious as well as her laugh, she made people around her feel good about themselves. She spoke out to the youth, telling them that "The impossible is possible" and to never give in to drugs and stay in school for a proper education. She made sure that her commitments were fulfilled and made sure people had a great time when it was her turn to entertain a crowd of anywhere from 50 up to 50,000

I don't hear many celebrities doing what Selena was capable of doing at that very young age. I hear and see firsthand lot of complaining, a lot of "ego" trips, and the feeding of negativity when it's the fans, people just like you and me, who put them up there, all for what? So they can live in misery and do drugs and alcohol as many times a day as they want? I see hardworking people who give up their days to film a music video or a segment with entertainers and not even get a 'thank you' at the end of the day. It's a shame to see ALL this go down, and yet, ONE entertainer that was a living soul, ONE who actually took the time to get her job done, would still thank everyone who worked just as hard, if not harder to make her shine and be a success.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and continue to enjoy the traveling and getting to know entertainers and get to do what I love the most, yet, I wish that I could've just seen a glimpse of the true professional that Selena was as the entertainer and the person. 

This is WHY Selena was and still is important. She is the prime example of a talented, beautiful, and hardworking person, inside and out.

Selena--> I will never stop singing your praises! You are still loved and truly missed by so many because you left THE example of LIFE, HARD WORK, and LOVE for us to follow. So many people will always try to talk you down, try to mess with your image, although none of that matters because you're not here to tell your side and defend yourself properly. We will never know why you left this world at such a young age, why many things happened the way they did on March 31st, 1995, yet I'm proud to say that you've inspired hundreds and thousands out there who strive to continue where you left off. You've inspired this 28 year old Hair and Make-Up Artist who was able to love you when he was only 8 years old, and followed your every move from Johnny Canales to Premio Lo Nuestro to Cristina to Dos Mujeres Y Un Camino and all the way to that fateful day GOD brought you back into his arms.

I can't thank you ENOUGH  for the difference you've made in my life in more ways than one! It is because of you that I stand here tall and have been able to go on when at many points in myself I could barely believe in my own craft. It is because of you and your loved ones that I've been able to make MY dreams come true and a TRUE reality..thank you!!!

 Sending you lots of BIG BEAR HUGS like the ones your sister loves when I get to see her.


Busy Little Queen 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Selena Promotion 2012

As currently mentioned, this will mark the 17th year that Selena hasn't been with us in LIFE, yet in our hearts, her family and the millions of fans all over the world, her legacy and memory lives on!

Today, Wednesday the 21st of March, Suzette Arriaga, Selena's sister, mentioned on her Facebook pages that her and the family were in Miami, Florida ready to do a full day of interviews and promotion for the new Selena album which is set for release on April 3rd, 2012...
in just two weeks. 

Of course, the interviews stemmed from the Spanish side of the media to the English side as well, and will all come out at various times and dates from now until the release of the album. I'm sure it was an exhausting day for them, yet, a special moment to really let the world know that Selena is STILL here. According to Suzette, the presale of the album can be purchased on iTunes and the album is currently at #8 on the iTunes Music Charts and climbing!! Number #1 is coming!!

This album titled, "Enamorada De Ti" was a collaborative effort between the Capitol/EMI Latin Music label and the family. They both came together to showcase a more updated sound to Selena's music and have there be a twist to the hits that were once on the charts in the 90's. Suzette mentions that when she listen's to the songs NOW, "Selena's voice is STILL so powerful that it was almost as if she recorded her vocals just last week"..she has so much passion in her voice that even 17 years later, it's refreshing to hear what a powerhouse vocalist Selena was.

I literally have almost every Selena compilation you can think of! I hear about it somewhere, and I'm at the store within the next day! I'm on a mission until I get the item in my hands and I'm soaking it in. Years ago Mommy Dearest revealed this to Suzette herself and I was sooo embarrassed! 
Gotta love it!

Amongst the other compilations, this one in particular is a special album because it has a couple of duets from today's artists music roster, it's something that hasn't really been done before, and I remember thinking to myself, "How will she be sounding with someone else on her OWN hits?" Well, I was SHOCKED!! This is the first single that was released about a month ago:

Now wasn't that chilling??! The first time I heard this duet it really gave me chills, Selena sounds so good along with Samo's vocals. Samo himself is a powerhouse vocalist and recording artist in his own right, he's the lead singer of a Pop trio group in Spanish named Camila, they're popularity has earned them Platinum and Gold album certifications and 3 Latin Grammy's

This version of the #1 hit is a blend of sensual and beautiful all rolled into one,
 and being that  Selena y Los Dinos had this as a #1 hit back in 1994/1995, 
"Amor Prohibido"is climbing the charts to the #1 spot once again!

This Selena compilation is consisting of some of her and her band's popular hits and about 3 more duets with other Spanish artists, one of them with Selena Gomez herself.

As Suzette was posting pictures on her Facebook pages today, I couldn't help but to feel warm inside at the smiles that her family had on their faces when being photographed with Selena's album cover. It's really true when they say that family is everything, they'll be there with you no matter what, through thick and thin, family is family! This project and promotion really pulled the family together and I can only imagine how much they really mean to each other now more than ever! 

Abraham, Marcella, Suzette and A.B., thank you for this amazing gift that we can ALL cherish for the rest of our lives <3

Best believe that I will have 2 copies of this compilation, one for the car and the other for my iTunes! Get your pre-ordered copy now through iTunes or get it when it comes out on April 3rd, 2012!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

More than Words..A Selena Favorite!

Thank you ALL for your LOVE towards Selena's memory!
Last week I had given a review on Chris Perez's book,
 "To Selena, With Love" as I myself along with 70,000 people in counting have been touched by his amazing experience of LOVE and marriage to Selena herself! YES, I said 70,000!!! Chris has sold 70,000 copies of his book in only 2 weeks, if you ask me, that is some LOVE!!
 If you haven't gotten your copy yet, I urge you to!

Chris, once again and over again I applaud your amazing efforts!!

As we continue on our March Selena-Fest here on "Busy Little Queen Says...", today will be about a particular song that I'm sure ALL of us have heard and related to ever since it's release in 1991...

More Than Words

Ring a bell anyone? Oh YES, I thought so! It's quite the 90's power ballad!
 As much of a tearjerker this song can ALWAYS be, it's such a beautiful and skillfully written piece of music art!

So, how does Selena fit into this 90's power ballad exactly?
Well, throughout the years after Selena's passing, it was and still is being commented by Selena's loved ones, that when on the group's tour bus, Big Bertha, Selena's favorite song to jam to was "More than Words" by Extreme. Her husband, Chris Perez, would play it on the guitar, while Selena would sing it right beside him. This is especially one of Chris' and her sister Suzette's cherished memory of her downtime when she actually had one. One can only imagine how now listening to the song now really brings back memories for those who knew her best.

"More than Words" by Extreme is a song that reminds me of TWO events in my LIFE:

-->My childhood in the early 90's
-->The first time I knew LOVE 11 years ago

My childhood musical influences were ALL over the place, I loved Spanish music because of Mommy Dearest, I loved K-EARTH 101FM Oldies because of my Dad, I loved Heavy Metal and Rock artists because of my Sister, and I loved the Urban Rap/Hip Hop because of my older brother. My little brother Christian introduced me to the Disney Pop Artists of the early 2000's. So I would say, that's quite diverse! Thanks to my Sister though, she introduced me to Extreme in the early 90's. Boy was that song amazing when I first heard it! Whoa!

In my senior year of high school, 2000-2001, as I was in choir for 3 years, every year there was an "End of the Year" concert where Seniors can audition for a solo spot in the last concert of the school year. Earlier in the months leading to that concert, I went to "The Warehouse", which was a music store back in the day that had new and used Music and Movies. In the used music section, I stumbled upon Extreme's 90's album Pornograffiti, and it was on sale for $6.99 USED. I asked Mommy Dearest if I could get it, and because of it's extremely low price (no pun intended), she gladly said, "YES!" When we got home, I had "More Than Words" on full blast and heavy rotation ALL NIGHT LONG! That week that I went back to school, I had told my "first love"( we'll call him F.L.) that I had gotten the CD, and I remember him saying, "Dude, isn't that the best album because of that song?!" Automatically I knew which song he meant, and BOOM, I had a song that described my exact feelings for him!

When the time came for the "End of the Year" auditions, I had asked "F.L." if he would like to accompany me on his guitar while I sang "More than Words" for an audition, being that we both loved it, he gladly said yes, but didn't have the music. Well, my Sister came to our rescue and had ordered us the sheet music to the song, and when that fateful day came for us to audition in front of our piers, "F.L." strummed those chords, and I began to sing. Afterwards, our teacher was amazed by our talent to reproduce a power ballad acoustically, we were given a spot in the show!

No joke, the only time we rehearsed that song was an hour prior to us going onstage! I personally was nervous because my upper register voice, meaning my high voice, was giving out due to my stress levels in school, and how sad I was because I was actually living the song in my real life..."F.L." had fallen for another person, his now wife, and without him knowing that my pain, my tears, the times he had seen me cry were because my heart belonged to him, and his was devoted to someone else. When we were backstage ready to go on, I held myself together, and went in front of that spotlight. Now when I think about that exact moment, it's a complete blur! I don't remember anything, all I do remember are people coming up to us after the show congratulating us on our performance.
It was bittersweet.

For years after, as I have explained before, our relationship as a whole faded and went out the door. I couldn't listen to "More than Words" at all!! I put the CD in my "Never Again" pile in my music collection, until the day came, years later, when I heard Chris Perez say in an interview on Television that "More Than Words" was Selena's favorite song to sing and it was a special song to him. Hurt came to his mind for years with that song, until he was able to listen to it and learned to love it again because he loved Selena that much. When I heard this, I really had to re-evaluate the song I once loved and learn to live with my heart and without the person that made it so special to me. If Chris was able to do it, why couldn't I, and all the while, the love of HIS life wasn't here on this earth anymore, and mine was.

In retrospect, "More than Words" became just that in a personal sense. Although because I along with the world now know how much Selena loved the song, and she's still an artist and person I look up to, it's because of her and Chris that I was able to love the song once again and NEVER forget why I loved it so much in the first place. Thank you Chris and Selena!

To my "F.L."....I hope you still love the song for the greater good and kept it in high respects, if not, it's cool. Hope all is going great in your marriage and in LIFE as a whole <3

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

"To Selena, With Love"

As mentioned last week, Chris Perez, Selena's husband, had released not necessarily a tell all book, more of "His" side of the story that has compelled many of us Selena fans around the nation!
Being that I work quite a bit these days, I wasn't able to follow the press surrounding the book, like the interviews Chris had given on both Spanish and English Televison, although thank goodness for the power of YouTube! I was able to catch up and follow the interviews, stats and reactions to the book.

First, let me give you my review:

Again, as a Selena fan for years, ever since I first saw her on The Johnny Canales show back in 1991, I was intrigued and loved Selena Y Los Dinos...they were fresh and had catchy Spanish music, thanks to my Mom, aka, Mommy Dearest, I grew up listening to it as much as she did.

When Selena passed away in 1995, it was almost as if that great large percentage of Spanish music literally went away along with her. Sure we had Gloria Estefan, Jon Secada, Paulina Rubio and countless others, yet, to this day, there was no one like Selena! She possessed humbleness, sexuality, and confidence onstage and off, and the importance of being that role model you just looked up to, whether you were a male or female. We ALL knew who Selena was, that is, Selena the Entertainer and person on camera. 

"To Selena, With Love" gives more than a glimpse into the entertainment life of Selena, it gives a detailed and TRUE encounter of the young girl and woman behind the Entertainer that right before her untimely passing, drew a crowd of more than 65,000 fans in the Houston Astrodome in Houston, TX. Chris Perez, her husband and lead guitarist of her band Los Dinos transports the reader into the year he had first heard of Selena Y Los Dinos, admitting that he loved the music, and rarely paid attention to Selena, unlike many other men at the time.  Like most of our relationships in our lives start, Selena and Chris become friends and grow from one another as musicians and as people, it was only a matter of time before they were to develop feelings for eachother, being as Chris puts it, they were the youngest members of the group.

His details in the book include him and Selena hiding their relationship for a while from the other band members, including her Father/Manager Abraham. The day Selena didn't show up for a scheduled performance to make the decision to marry Chris due to their increasing love for eachother. At one point Selena had even rode a motorcycle!! That was a funny yet scary story!! Also, a time even when her fame grew more and more popular, how she couldn't catch a break between running her boutiques, her music career and her home life. The balance at times was unstable and at one point, Selena and Chris even thought about taking some time apart, the pressures of life can even get to the BIGGEST of entertainers.

 So many more details are revealed to name them all, although one in particular caught my eye as I was reading the book, and it was the days leading up to the fateful day of March 31st, 1995. Selena had been recording her English album, running her 2 boutiques/salons and getting ready to open a third in Mexico, accomplishing her performing dates with her band and was in negotiations for a perfume line. All the while she was only 23 years of age. If that wasn't enough, she was dealing with the double crossing of one of her best friends and confidant that had been there for her for years.  

Chris reveals incidents where Selena was trusting enough that it never crossed her mind that anyone would cause her physical harm. He describes that day of March 31st, 1995 as the very last day he saw  and spoke to Selena in the early morning, and she had called him at least a half hour prior to the fateful incident happening. In the end, we ALL know what happens, and it had me in tears reliving those memories when I had heard that she had passed away when I was 11 years of age. If I felt that way, I can't imagine how Chris feels to this day, especially with his memory being so vivid still.

I read the book in 3 days, I was trying to make every page count and absorb Chris' story as best as I could, and for those 3 days, I was falling asleep around 2-3 am reading. Days after I finished the book, I couldn't shake the thought and feeling of how abrupt Selena and Chris' love was just over in a matter of seconds. It literally bugged me how LIFE can be at times! They fought so hard to fall and stay in love, yet it almost seems that we ask ourselves.."For What?"...well, Chris reveals how he grew from his experience, how with the motivation from his friends and family he was able to move on, although, it came at a cost for him. 

I give this book a 5 star rating, it was very well written and had great detail from a very close point of view, a source that was TRUE, HONEST, and FORTHCOMING. Chris, THANK YOU for this token of LOVE, the LOVE that you still feel for Selena and us her fans. May GOD bless you and your family and know you will ALWAYS have Busy Little Queen's support 100%! The media has also been in full support of Chris and admire him for releasing these intimate moments that are so dear to him. The reviews on the book are positive from fans all over the spectrum!  
Way to go Chris!

 In 2005, I myself was blessed to have had my entertainment hairtstyling career started by Suzette and Abraham of The Quintanilla family, I was given a chance and I took it. I will never forget the HONESTY and LOVE Suzette has shown me for my craft and her appealing eye for perfection. It was the opportunity of a lifetime and I thank them for a lot, for now I've been able to move on even further in my career and I've met some amazing friends along the way.
Even though I never got to meet Selena herself,
I'm now able to put the puzzle pieces together : )

Selena VIVE!

Friday, March 9, 2012

~I Could Fall In Love~

 Hope everyone enjoyed last night's Blog about the upcoming Selena engagements that are coming this month! I truly hope all of you can pick up Chris Perez's book,
 "To Selena, With Love",
 it's a TRUE tale of a TRUE love story..and just an update on it, he's the #1 top book in Spanish right now, what an amazing endeavor!! Congratulations Chris!!

To continue our Selena-fest, let's talk about one of my personal favorite songs she recorded for her English language album "Dreaming Of You":

I Could Fall In Love

"I Could Fall In Love" was written and produced by the Keith Thomas, a songwriter who actually sings, yet only on Demos, not in the mainstream music business. He lives in Nashville, TN and has his own production company called Yellow Elephant Music, for which he's produced "Colors of the Wind" for the Pocahontas soundtrack, "I Do (Cherish You)", wrote 
"I Wanna Be With You" by Mandy Moore, and countless other hit songs.

In early 1995, he reached out to Selena about having her record one of his songs that he had written so she can put it on her upcoming English album, a song where hadn't put on a demo track yet. So as story has it, he met with Selena and her brother A.B., who was her bassist/songwriter/producer, and he sang "I Could Fall In Love" for them. According to A.B., this man can really sing his soul!! Selena immediately loved the song and signed on to record it. 

On a later trip, Selena and her husband Chris went back to Nashville, TN, and while at the studios caught up and met with Wynonna Judd and hit it off instantly! Chris said that Selena was making Wynonna laugh any chance she could, a trait that Selena possessed with everyone with whom she met up with. Afterwards Selena and Chris went to meet up with Keith so he could give Selena the demo of the track she was going to sing on the next day when she would record the song. According to Chris, when they went to go check in to their hotel, Selena had on her walkman and was listening to the track on loop, yet, she wasn't working out parts or singing out loud, just simply listening. She even fell asleep with the headphones and the track still going that night.

The next day, as she entered the studio, Keith played the track and wanted to see if Selena wanted to practice with it and mess around, and she opted not to, just wanted to go ahead and start recording. Usually, for those of you who've never been in the studio, the producer hears what he/she wants out of the singer and directs them to how it should sound, and the engineer plays the track back and forth to wherever the producer directs him/her to. 

As the track played the first few seconds of the song's intro, Selena just went for it! Chris said NEVER in his LIFE has he ever seen a singer go into the studio and nailing a song the way she did that day! So much that Keith was in AWE of her, threw up his arms and said, "Well, I'll just let her do it!" Chris said that the feeling, the emotion she put in the song was so raw, that he was in AWE of her as well, because he hadn't heard at all what she was working out in her head the day before when she was listening to it. She nailed the song , and what we hear now in the finished product is what Selena had done in her head, and once in the studio, released it with everything she had inside of her. Chilling isn't it?!

When I first heard "I Could Fall In Love" in 1995, it instantly became one of my favorite songs to listen to. There's a video that was released that has a montage of her live concerts and her pictures with her family, although I can honestly tell you that had she released this song and done a video for it herself, it would've been a great concept and a great video. Yet still, it became ONE of her BIGGEST hits in English next to "Dreaming Of You".

Learning of the behind the scenes of this song made me appreciate it that much more, especially her talent to convey such a feeling of falling in love with someone. She definitely set the bar HIGH for the rest of the ballad singers out there, a bar that in my book, has yet to be set higher!

Thursday, March 8, 2012

17 Years & You're STILL Here : )

Usually, since 1995, the month of March is always a somber one, due to the passing of an incredible recording artist and human being that lived on this very earth...for the rest of this month, I will be blogging about this great person that not only changed my life, but others as well around the entire world!

17 Years & You're STILL here : )

To me, Selena is still ever so present, she's a continuous inspiration especially when it comes to my craft of hair and make-up. Every now and then I'll get clients who will show me a picture of her and want her haircolor, her hairstyles, her bangs and/or even her updo's that she would do on herself most of the time. I have a picture of her on my hair station to remind me of why I do what I do, and it helps too because whenever a client is trying to look for my station, I always say, 
"It's the one with the Selena picture"
and of course, you can't miss it. 

I do get asked frequently why is it that I have her picture on my station, and I always say,  
"That's my girl! She's my inspiration, she's looking after me"
Many get it while others just shrug it off, in the meantime, Selena's very dear to my heart in so many ways, to explain it would take a lifetime, so that's why I have her picture up, simple as that : )

 We are in the month leading up to the day when we lost her here on earth, yet, she's always remembered in so many ways through the media every year that goes by. This year is a pretty big one, she's being featured on People en Espanol as a tribute cover and story, her husband Chris Perez just released his book about their story and lives together aptly titled, "To Selena, With Love", and a new compilation album of new, restructured and duet songs will be released at the end of the month which will be ONE to definitely own!

I picked up the book by her husband Chris Perez yesterday and I am hooked on it! I had to go to 2 Barnes & Nobles to find it and thankfully, I was able to purchase it. I'm reading it bit by bit to soak up the story that Hollywood barely showed and touched on in the movie, "Selena". It is very well written and it's so touching to read every detail that Chris reveals through his own memory, everything from when he first saw her to when he last saw her, the first time they said 'I Love You' to each other, even when they had their discussions and arguments. He's giving us more than just a glimpse into who Selena actually was, he's allowing us to enter into the world he shared with her, his heart and soul and his tears. In all honesty, this must've been so hard for Chris to write and share with the world, they're such private moments that really give you goosebumps and make your heart melt, because as much as Selena loved him, he loved her even more. To me this puts the puzzle pieces together to his 2 albums of his Grammy winning rock group, "The Chris Perez Band", such deep meaningful songs that really make you want more, let's just say, I'm a BIG fan of Chris' as well!

The new album, 'Enamorada De Ti',  that will be coming out at the end of the month has duets with Selena and other artists from today's music roster and also has restructured songs that she and her band Los Dinos recorded years ago, just a musical updated twist has been added to them to appeal to the 2012 music industry sound. "Amor Prohobido" was re-released as it's leading single with a wonderful duet version with Samo, the lead vocalist from the Pop trio group, Camila, and I can say that this version is AMAZING and very innovative, 2 thumbs way up! I can't wait to listen to the rest of the album!!

 Would it be safe to say that she would've been HUGE if she were still present now? 
Well, she's BIGGER than ever and is ever so present...
Selena is STILL here!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Why Not Be Happy with What You Asked For?

Before anything, I have to dedicate this Blog entry to "Momma Love"...THANK YOU for inspiring this topic! Muah!

It's ONE thing to SEEM happy, and it's another to BE happy, although, if this is what you asked for, where's the REAL issue at hand?

I keep hearing and actually seeing those around me saying how their lives are just not as interesting as they once were, how they need excitement and inspiration to make their lives better and much more fascinating. Yet, nothing is being done to make that change more or less serves as more of a downer because there's no progress and no sense of direction. If LIFE is like this at the time being, why not ask yourself, "Is this NOT what I asked for?"

As the saying goes, 
"You are what you eat"....
the same goes for what you have around you...
"You get what YOU asked for"

The message is very clear and very simple, no need to complicate the task at hand and/or the issue that needs to be resolved for the best.

What makes YOUR life YOURS is YOU....what isn't supposed to be in your life simply only makes you wonder, "Did I not close a door that I was supposed to?"

 Everything and everyone has a reason for being in your LIFE, no doubt about that, yet you can't be mad at anyone but yourself for living what you live on a daily basis, no matter what the outcome. If you would like a new outcome, let there be a path you can follow that will allow you to make a difference in how you think, act, and dream.

To form options and decipher a path to take

To move in the direction best suited for you, taking one step forward at a time

To have a goal in mind and help it become a reality

Be happy with what you asked for, 
if you are to question that part of your happiness, 
Think, Act, and Dream : )