Lately

Some of you out there have seen my fascination with the show 'Nashville' on abc! Everything from the music to the characters and let's face it, the DRAMA! 

One of my favorite characters that I love on this show is played by Clare Bowen, a.k.a. Scarlett O'Connor, the whimsical poet/singer/songwriter that is easy to share her heart through her music yet puts up walls when it comes to her personal life. 

If Scarlett was an actual person in real life I would very much love to have a writing session with her especially with that clear melodic voice she vocalizes so effortlessly.

In the show Scarlett cares for her heart in the way that she writes exactly what she's feeling and going through with those she's emotionally invested in. Season 1 had a great introduction to her humble beginnings as a songwriter, and as we got toward the end she took a chance at singing some of her own material landing her a record deal of her own. Now as we near the end in Season 2, she's the opening act to some of Country Music's fictional royalty and is trying to cope with the pressures of being a recording and traveling musician. 

Earlier in Season 2 she was given the opportunity to sing one of her songs that she co-wrote with one of her ex-boyfriends, Gunnar Scott, for the none other Kelly Clarkson. In the show Kelly's looking for new material for her next album and heard one of the demos Gunnar and Scarlett had written called 'Lately'. 

Of course this is an amazing once in a lifetime opportunity for the duo songwriter's, though it's kind of awkward being that they've broken up professionally and romantically by this point and are once again showcasing a song they wrote when they were at their most vulnerable heartfelt state in their relationship. 

Everyone and anyone can relate to this song that simply states a true fact of the heart:

"I've been missing you
I've been missing you, lately"

A romance that wholeheartedly continues to live on, 

inside us all!

Do You Think You'll Make It?

Doubt can get the very best of us in an instant...especially when exploring new "Territory" and taking a chance at LIFE.

When faced with the world, we have ONE of TWO situations:

 --> US against everyone else

or

--> An Individual making it work

Whichever one you decide to pick, they both have ONE thing in common...that is the URGE to make things happen for a greater result. Even then, we have a 50/50 OPPORTUNITY to make it work both physically and emotionally. 

Therefore now we ask this of ourselves,

"Do You Think You'll Make It?"

Ever since I was born in 1983, my family and I have experience the 'Highest of Highs' and the 'Lowest of Lows'. What was once a UNIT for one reason or another we slowly started breaking off and straying away from each other. Of course every family has their nature and especially when it comes to agreeing with one another. Everything from divorce to infighting to jealousy has plagued our UNIT and to this day, slowly but surely, we're starting to mend the damaged relationships one by one.

For as much as we've lost and have doubted ourselves individually and collectively, ONE thing's for sure...we've managed to stay true to our nature and ourselves, WILLING to make it. We've learned to gather our thoughts as individuals, work on what is needed for us to move forward in the proper direction and MOST importantly, put pride aside. Communication seems to be the lacking factor in our case, yet, it's a constant reminder of what COULD our greatest ability should we improve on the ACTION part of the word.

However you look at it, we are to own up to our actions and our feelings 110%. Nothing in this world is one sided, for there's 2 sides to every story told.
As long as we're willing to ACCEPT and OWN up to what we need to work on,
we're Individuals making it work.

WE can make it.

Scared of Losing

LIFE has many options, choices and events that shape our view and our path. It's full of surprises, yet we shouldn't be that surprised especially when it comes the choices we've made. 

Still there's ONE aspect that proves to be difficult to comprehend and swallow...

the fear and being scared of losing. 

Yes, as humans we know we have a beginning, middle and end, for it's inevitable that WE ALL have to go through the same aging 'life cycle'. Though its through that aging 'life cycle' that we experience the reality of emptiness. Whether losing a loved one, something material, or simply put, ourselves...it's a hard entity to comprehend let alone one we must ALL feel and get through.

I tell you this though, there's nothing greater than having to lose yourself and experience firsthand the RISE of a new beginning. Facing loss is one thing, while ACCEPTING loss is another.

Why does it take so long to accept loss???

Simple...we're used to having things go in our favor and when they don't, we freak out and try to salvage what little we can so our world doesn't alter itself.

I can't express to all of you the importance of ACCEPTING the reality of loss. As much as it hurts and as much as it can leave you in a world full of fog, the denial in any way, shape, or form will only make you listen to the outside world and not who you really have to listen to,
which is yourself.

Yes you're going to be mortified and scared to 'think' of what the aftermath will become, though as everyday passes by, it's not as bad as you think. Once having accepted loss, a choice must be made to whether LINGER or LET GO.

 

The picture you see above is that of a 17 year old teenager that just a few months prior to that picture being taken had lost himself so much that nothing and nobody could make him believe that LIFE was worth an ounce of happiness. He had read in a magazine article that when suffering from 'Disbelief in one's soul' the best remedy is to change your OUTSIDE appearance and go in slowly and start putting back together the broken pieces that once had LIFE. He had already lost himself, his faith, a good portion of his friends, and most of all, the person who once occupied his heart. What else did he have to lose by trying out and going for what the article had suggested a reader like himself to do?? 

Well, with the help of those very few around him and GOD, he accepted the challenge of restoring his FAITH to prove to himself that losing can only make you RISE. He struggled, cried, made himself known to the world by saying, "This won't beat me!".

 2,996 days later, he ACCEPTED and  FIRMLY knows and BELIEVES there was a reason
 WHY he had to lose. He was able to ACCEPT and LET GO.

Nothing is impossible when you're scared of losing...
you can only RISE from that moment on.

Here With Me

A  

Haunting Love Story...

or is it???

This is what I love about our beloved Dido, her songs create such a parallel universe that keeps you guessing. Song after song, album after album, even if it's an 'I hate you' lyric content, her tender and melodic voice can NEVER be duplicated, and yet you still feel what she's feeling. In this case, it's the emptiness of her lover that's missing beside her. 

"Here With Me" was used as the theme song back in the late 90's for a science fiction show called 'Roswell', which my friends and I LOVED. Of course, with the show and with a feature on Eminem's song 'Stan', everyone wanted a piece of Dido and what she had to offer. 

The music industry struck gold when they released her first album, 'No Angel', in which 'Here With Me' was the first song of 12 tracks. Back then, iTunes was non-existent and internet downloading was explicitly illegal, so why not get the whole album?! It is still considered one of my favorite albums in my collection, because teens, young adults and adults could all relate to it. Even going to clubs back then (yes I was a club go-er) I would hear the 'No Angel' remixes, she was everywhere!

What makes a song/album a good 

Haunting Love Story??? 

Living the solitude side of a broken heart makes for a great piece of inspiration. In this song's case, what was once there was so great and wonderful that by accepting the TRUTH and REALITY, one would have to wake up from that beautiful dream, the essence that brought LIFE to the lonely heart. Not only is the other half missing, we don't know if there was a break up or if they're just away for the day, which is what keeps "Here With Me" that much more interesting. 

Though as much as Dido pours out her heart and soul, she's still able to keep herself in tact despite the pain, her vocals carry it all...the pain, heartache, happiness and glee of the what she once experienced.

The calling of the 'missing' is what makes this song the great start to an unforgettable, haunting and heartbreaking album.

An absolute MUST for everyone's music collection!

Dreaming Of You

The very natural part of LIFE of having the heart grow fonder can be as heavy as having to breathe with a ton of bricks on top of you. 

Nostalgia and becoming melancholic are two of the most POWERFUL sentiments that the human heart and mind can ever feel and actually AGREE to connect upon. Of course as we get older we seem to experience more of them quite often, though while were living in the moment, we create the memories that allow us to DREAM.

 

ANYTHING is possible when we DREAM.

A week ago I was traveling from L.A. back to the Temecula area at night and while listening to KOST 103.5 FM "Love Songs" at night, the simple and sweet melody of Selena's 1995 crossover hit 'Dreaming Of You' came on and all of the sudden my body went into a shiver of goosebumps!

Hearing her voice brought back so many memories of my childhood, especially the one of me sitting on my stomach in front of the radio at night and reading the 'Dreaming Of You' sleeve booklet as I kept pushing track #5 over and over again until I memorized the song by heart. Night after night I would repeat the process for the next couple months, and even when my Dad would pick me up to go back to his place, there I was with my 'Dreaming Of You' album in hand and ready to play in the car for the long ride back to L.A. Obsessed much???
 No, I call it the beginning.

I was able to introduce so many of my friends to Selena through that song, and even to this day, many of them remind me that they remember me with my favorite Selena album and how much I would talk about and sing it. It's amazing to me how one song can create the beginning to one of many dreams.

I've ALWAYS been a dreamer, ever since I can remember. As many times as I've had the door slammed shut in my face and have been told that 'NO' was the final answer, backing down is a trait I don't often practice, for where there's a will, there's a way. Even in times when my mind couldn't do anymore but shut down, my heart was the one that kept going and wanting to find an answer, something so that at least I could finally say, "I tried". 

Distance between 'Dreams' is healthy, you just have to know and choose which ones you wish to make into a reality. We live to make things happen, to be an example for ourselves and especially so that others can see that given the strength and dedication, ANYTHING is truly possible.

The courage to create and design a DREAM makes everything worthwhile especially when you're able to capture the moment when you see it come to LIFE. 'Dreaming Of You' was exactly that for me, I was able to capture the beginning of my many dreams.

 "Be strong minded and always think that the
 impossible is possible."
-->Selena Quintanilla-Perez

To LIVE is To Lose...and RISE!

Various times it seems to happen quite often when were not very careful when it comes to holding on to our inner selves. We're brought up trying to find ourselves in a world that will eat you up and spit you out alive if you're not careful, yet when you're TOO meticulous, that can also work against you. 

So where do you find a solid ground where you can grow and produce as much as possible without having to lose what you worked so hard for???

As much and as far as we search out in the world,

 it STARTS and ENDS with us. 

I remember listening to my spiritual mentor back when I was 19 years of age and 

clearly heard him say,

"You haven't LIVED until you've learned to LOSE, and as painful as it is to LOSE, you LEARN to RISE up again and continue to LIVE, that's the beauty of FAITH and GOD!"

This always struck a chord with me especially back then as I was on the mend of an 8 year journey to recovery. 

Now living my 30's and looking back, there were various times where I gave myself to others and lost myself in the middle of chaotic and loud situations. The louder things appeared to get the more fog I was seeing and had no path to walk on. It was as if I was putting myself through all these tests time after time and was getting nowhere.  

Now why on earth did I not stop myself even after the 4th or 5th time??? 

 What can I say I love challenges?!

 

In all seriousness though, of course because of all those challenges, I was trying to fill the void up and having people force their way to fit that missing puzzle piece. It got annoying realizing that in the end, it was me with the issues and it was me that needed to 

accept and learn to love what I had LOST...me.

 Y'all think I'm busy now, back in those days, I was busier trying to fit in and hide what was lost for quite some time. I can tell you straight out that when you learn to LOSE, it's OK...it's not the end of the world. It feels horrible, you feel detached from everything and everyone, though every 24 hrs that passes after that moment, you learn to RISE up again and create a stronger foundation, and THIS TIME, with the help of FAITH and GOD, you know what NOT to accept anymore, 

you learn what to cut off and what to keep. You have to take a leap and also understand that SILENCE is truly GOLDEN, you'll hear so much more than you've ever had before.

We LIVE so we can have the ability to 

learn to LOSE and RISE back up again. 

It's REAL...it's LIFE...it's OUR journey.

Co-Existence

We are now in the year 2014, and STILL we seem to find ourselves in a bit of a 'pickle' per say when it comes to who we are as individuals. 

Whether BLACK, WHITE, GAY, STRAIGHT, CHRISTIAN, BUDDHIST, SHORT, TALL, BLONDE, BRUNETTE, SKINNY, FULL FIGURED....not one form of combination is EVER good for any of us for we ALL have something to say especially if we're anything BUT ordinary. 

To FACE the facts, LOVE is LOVE, no matter what, who, or where you choose to place your heart. The most unlikely choice in LIFE is usually the right one when it comes to the resonance of your heartbeat. 

To KNOW the facts, we're ALL HUMAN. We have the same color of blood running inside each and every one of us and our brains are the same color as those who lived once in our past history. We make the best out of what and who we are due to us being OPEN to what we were taught since infancy. 

To UNDERSTAND the facts, our DIFFERENCES are what make us the best within one another especially when learning from ANY individual. Some of our best values as PEOPLE come from the most diverse influences that the human race has ever had to offer. 

In my own inner circle, I have everyone from Christian to Agnostic, Hispanic to Caucasian, Straight to Bi-Sexual, and from my age to 76 year old individuals that march to the beat of their OWN drum. As much as we can disagree at times when it comes to personal choices and/or certain goals we have set for ourselves, we've ALL learned to say what we need to say, and UNCONDITIONALLY expect a smile from one another because in the end, LOVE is what brought us together and its what truly keeps us in each others lives. Some of us, including myself, are STUBBORN to no end, yet, we come to our senses and learn to listen as much as possible to make our paths better for ourselves. 

It's TRUE what they say out there....

the only one being affected by ANY action taken is yourself...

though with Co-Existence, 

we can make the world a better place, for our hearts NEVER stop growing.