Here With Me

A  

Haunting Love Story...

or is it???

This is what I love about our beloved Dido, her songs create such a parallel universe that keeps you guessing. Song after song, album after album, even if it's an 'I hate you' lyric content, her tender and melodic voice can NEVER be duplicated, and yet you still feel what she's feeling. In this case, it's the emptiness of her lover that's missing beside her. 

"Here With Me" was used as the theme song back in the late 90's for a science fiction show called 'Roswell', which my friends and I LOVED. Of course, with the show and with a feature on Eminem's song 'Stan', everyone wanted a piece of Dido and what she had to offer. 

The music industry struck gold when they released her first album, 'No Angel', in which 'Here With Me' was the first song of 12 tracks. Back then, iTunes was non-existent and internet downloading was explicitly illegal, so why not get the whole album?! It is still considered one of my favorite albums in my collection, because teens, young adults and adults could all relate to it. Even going to clubs back then (yes I was a club go-er) I would hear the 'No Angel' remixes, she was everywhere!

What makes a song/album a good 

Haunting Love Story??? 

Living the solitude side of a broken heart makes for a great piece of inspiration. In this song's case, what was once there was so great and wonderful that by accepting the TRUTH and REALITY, one would have to wake up from that beautiful dream, the essence that brought LIFE to the lonely heart. Not only is the other half missing, we don't know if there was a break up or if they're just away for the day, which is what keeps "Here With Me" that much more interesting. 

Though as much as Dido pours out her heart and soul, she's still able to keep herself in tact despite the pain, her vocals carry it all...the pain, heartache, happiness and glee of the what she once experienced.

The calling of the 'missing' is what makes this song the great start to an unforgettable, haunting and heartbreaking album.

An absolute MUST for everyone's music collection!

Dreaming Of You

The very natural part of LIFE of having the heart grow fonder can be as heavy as having to breathe with a ton of bricks on top of you. 

Nostalgia and becoming melancholic are two of the most POWERFUL sentiments that the human heart and mind can ever feel and actually AGREE to connect upon. Of course as we get older we seem to experience more of them quite often, though while were living in the moment, we create the memories that allow us to DREAM.

 

ANYTHING is possible when we DREAM.

A week ago I was traveling from L.A. back to the Temecula area at night and while listening to KOST 103.5 FM "Love Songs" at night, the simple and sweet melody of Selena's 1995 crossover hit 'Dreaming Of You' came on and all of the sudden my body went into a shiver of goosebumps!

Hearing her voice brought back so many memories of my childhood, especially the one of me sitting on my stomach in front of the radio at night and reading the 'Dreaming Of You' sleeve booklet as I kept pushing track #5 over and over again until I memorized the song by heart. Night after night I would repeat the process for the next couple months, and even when my Dad would pick me up to go back to his place, there I was with my 'Dreaming Of You' album in hand and ready to play in the car for the long ride back to L.A. Obsessed much???
 No, I call it the beginning.

I was able to introduce so many of my friends to Selena through that song, and even to this day, many of them remind me that they remember me with my favorite Selena album and how much I would talk about and sing it. It's amazing to me how one song can create the beginning to one of many dreams.

I've ALWAYS been a dreamer, ever since I can remember. As many times as I've had the door slammed shut in my face and have been told that 'NO' was the final answer, backing down is a trait I don't often practice, for where there's a will, there's a way. Even in times when my mind couldn't do anymore but shut down, my heart was the one that kept going and wanting to find an answer, something so that at least I could finally say, "I tried". 

Distance between 'Dreams' is healthy, you just have to know and choose which ones you wish to make into a reality. We live to make things happen, to be an example for ourselves and especially so that others can see that given the strength and dedication, ANYTHING is truly possible.

The courage to create and design a DREAM makes everything worthwhile especially when you're able to capture the moment when you see it come to LIFE. 'Dreaming Of You' was exactly that for me, I was able to capture the beginning of my many dreams.

 "Be strong minded and always think that the
 impossible is possible."
-->Selena Quintanilla-Perez

To LIVE is To Lose...and RISE!

Various times it seems to happen quite often when were not very careful when it comes to holding on to our inner selves. We're brought up trying to find ourselves in a world that will eat you up and spit you out alive if you're not careful, yet when you're TOO meticulous, that can also work against you. 

So where do you find a solid ground where you can grow and produce as much as possible without having to lose what you worked so hard for???

As much and as far as we search out in the world,

 it STARTS and ENDS with us. 

I remember listening to my spiritual mentor back when I was 19 years of age and 

clearly heard him say,

"You haven't LIVED until you've learned to LOSE, and as painful as it is to LOSE, you LEARN to RISE up again and continue to LIVE, that's the beauty of FAITH and GOD!"

This always struck a chord with me especially back then as I was on the mend of an 8 year journey to recovery. 

Now living my 30's and looking back, there were various times where I gave myself to others and lost myself in the middle of chaotic and loud situations. The louder things appeared to get the more fog I was seeing and had no path to walk on. It was as if I was putting myself through all these tests time after time and was getting nowhere.  

Now why on earth did I not stop myself even after the 4th or 5th time??? 

 What can I say I love challenges?!

 

In all seriousness though, of course because of all those challenges, I was trying to fill the void up and having people force their way to fit that missing puzzle piece. It got annoying realizing that in the end, it was me with the issues and it was me that needed to 

accept and learn to love what I had LOST...me.

 Y'all think I'm busy now, back in those days, I was busier trying to fit in and hide what was lost for quite some time. I can tell you straight out that when you learn to LOSE, it's OK...it's not the end of the world. It feels horrible, you feel detached from everything and everyone, though every 24 hrs that passes after that moment, you learn to RISE up again and create a stronger foundation, and THIS TIME, with the help of FAITH and GOD, you know what NOT to accept anymore, 

you learn what to cut off and what to keep. You have to take a leap and also understand that SILENCE is truly GOLDEN, you'll hear so much more than you've ever had before.

We LIVE so we can have the ability to 

learn to LOSE and RISE back up again. 

It's REAL...it's LIFE...it's OUR journey.

Co-Existence

We are now in the year 2014, and STILL we seem to find ourselves in a bit of a 'pickle' per say when it comes to who we are as individuals. 

Whether BLACK, WHITE, GAY, STRAIGHT, CHRISTIAN, BUDDHIST, SHORT, TALL, BLONDE, BRUNETTE, SKINNY, FULL FIGURED....not one form of combination is EVER good for any of us for we ALL have something to say especially if we're anything BUT ordinary. 

To FACE the facts, LOVE is LOVE, no matter what, who, or where you choose to place your heart. The most unlikely choice in LIFE is usually the right one when it comes to the resonance of your heartbeat. 

To KNOW the facts, we're ALL HUMAN. We have the same color of blood running inside each and every one of us and our brains are the same color as those who lived once in our past history. We make the best out of what and who we are due to us being OPEN to what we were taught since infancy. 

To UNDERSTAND the facts, our DIFFERENCES are what make us the best within one another especially when learning from ANY individual. Some of our best values as PEOPLE come from the most diverse influences that the human race has ever had to offer. 

In my own inner circle, I have everyone from Christian to Agnostic, Hispanic to Caucasian, Straight to Bi-Sexual, and from my age to 76 year old individuals that march to the beat of their OWN drum. As much as we can disagree at times when it comes to personal choices and/or certain goals we have set for ourselves, we've ALL learned to say what we need to say, and UNCONDITIONALLY expect a smile from one another because in the end, LOVE is what brought us together and its what truly keeps us in each others lives. Some of us, including myself, are STUBBORN to no end, yet, we come to our senses and learn to listen as much as possible to make our paths better for ourselves. 

It's TRUE what they say out there....

the only one being affected by ANY action taken is yourself...

though with Co-Existence, 

we can make the world a better place, for our hearts NEVER stop growing.

Look UP for Resolutions

Many have said that it takes ALL that you have to make it happen...

while many OTHERS have exclaimed that it's taken a percentage of who they are to make ends meet.

Who to believe???

Take everything and everyone into account, for we ALL have a story to tell and share. Yet very few of us have LIVED what we're really about. It doesn't take very much to make you see that the grass isn't greener on the other side, though I can say this:

You haven't LIVED until you've admitted and accepted to yourself that you are your OWN cause and effect.

What does this mean???

To put it out there, 

there's no one that has made it hard and/or easy in your world except YOU. 

Blame and finger pointing is typical (believe me I've done plenty of this throughout the years), though it didn't sink in until I started to see a pattern that kept happening over and over again. 

To be honest, at first I thought I was going crazy and that the world just kept throwing "daggers" my way and I just kept trying to dodge them as best as I could. Then, after about the 3rd and 4th "dagger", I had that special light that came on above my head and I said, 

"So this is where everything is coming from!" 

What was it??

My very OWN wall that I wouldn't let down. Whatever it was I kept within that wall was the KEY to letting my world function the way it needed to. I kept hiding the one thing that made me so vulnerable since the beginning, my heart. 

Every cause and effect kept resulting in the same way and had the same outcome UNTIL one day I put my heart out there, I became vulnerable and made sure that I wholeheartedly BELIEVED in the vision that needed to be just that, my vision. With letting my wall down, I still made sure that my heart and mind coincided with each other and therefore kept it to where I was at level with it all, NOT ANY HIGHER and definitely NOT ANY LOWER than what ANY standard 

I believed to be true. 

To this day, EVERY cause and effect has had its major up's though my major "down's" aren't those anymore. Instead they became a part of the puzzle that didn't seem to fit, and I've simply learned to move on without resentment, finger pointing and disappointment. 

Moral of the story:

Not EVERY piece to the puzzle is supposed to fit. Instead of looking down and around for an answer, simply let down your guard and look UP for resolutions, 

for there's only ONE way to go and that is UP.

Good Enough

2014 has commenced! 

We're now going into the third week of the new year and as with the past first blog entries of the year, we start it off right with:

 Sarah McLachlan

An update on Sarah, she's currently recording her new album and a new tour is being planned for later on this year! Can't wait to see her once again!

This particular song of her's is one that not only we can ALL relate to, we can even experience it with others in our current lives who've needed the right amount of LOVE for their hearts. 

"Good Enough" deals with the pain circulating with chain of events that happened to us when we were in our younger years. Whether a broken home, a divorce, betrayal, or simply someone not being there for you, it can leave a lasting impression on the heart and even if you've stitched yourself up from it, the feelings never go away until YOU say they can. 

Fear, as anything else that's negative in the world, can present themselves in such a hard way that taking them out of your head can come at a cost. Surrounding yourself with the right people is KEY in knowing that LIFE can bring so much more that what you've already experienced. Things CAN change internally for as much as we can battle it for no good reason. The more we have bottled up inside, the more damage we can do to ourselves without us even knowing. 

Do you ever find that one person that wants to connect with you at every level possible??? 

So much that inside you're saying to yourself,

 "Seriously?! Why should I let you in??!"

The walls that we put up most often are the walls of FEAR and PAIN, making anything GOOD that comes our way look like the negative aspect we already feel inside. Yet if you really think about it, all it takes is a simple glance at the GOOD FAITH that person has and we can throw away the negativity out the window. It's natural to be afraid of the unknown, yet, there are those times that we have to "jump ship" as they say to make the most out of a smile.

With taking in the POSITIVE and throwing away the NEGATIVE, a NEW YEAR is a good time as ever to do what is needed for ourselves and those who surround us. All we can really do is be "Good Enough" so that  at least we can say we gave it a try, especially if you're serving as that POSITIVE influence to someone else. 

Let them know you come with the best of intentions, that you yourself know what its like to be broken and hurt and you can show them a different side to the term 'moving on'. We ALL have that moment of clarity, some sooner than the others, though in any case, we'll show that STRENGTH come in numbers.

2013: A Year In Review Part 1

It's crazy to think that in 1 day, 2013 will be a year of the PAST.

For many, 2013 was a trying year, while for others, 2013 was that of an educational yet uplifting year.

I myself found many things to take with me, as well as many opportunities that will keep on coming and make me a better person both as an individual and as a professional.

January-June

2013 started off at a new salon location, right the Old Town Temecula, where to be honest, I had not visited in 5 years. Being that I was in Murrieta for that length of time, I just never found a reason to go there, until I found employment there. It's been by far my clients' favorite spot, especially the shampoo bowls where most of them fall asleep, yet the parking situation is getting worked out slowly but surely. A very BIG special THANK YOU to all of you who continue to support in letting me design your locks for you! I will continue to give 110% everytime you wish come in. 

In April I was contacted to see if I was interested in taking care of the hair section of the NBC 4 Los Angeles News Team as well as some of the employees there. With very little hesitation I jumped at the opportunity and thankfully, the NBC 4 Los Angeles News Team have welcome me every week with open arms and have trusted me in collaborating for their new image that they had been seeking. GOD willing, this opportunity will allow me to continue to grow even more in my ability as a hairstylist and as a professional who only seeks to make others feel great about their overall image. So far so good and I'm enjoying the challenge as every week comes.

May and June I was able to start off 2 new projects that will continue in 2014 and make a path for the greater good. My dear friend Brenda had the opportunity to jump at the chance and open her own Salon and Dry Bar in Old Town Temecula and had allowed me to help her start off with a name that has become quite noticed within the city in only 5 months of its doors being open. It hasn't been an easy ride, though just like I told her, if you believe in a dream and see it clearly, anything can happen. It's such a great feeling to see her run it with her love and devotion, and once she has the right mixture of devoted stylist entrepreneurs, the accomplishments are right around the corner, thus far, its a go!

The other project that captivated my time and heart has been my very first screenplay that took me 15 hrs. to complete in its entirety. With it's initial concept conceived by myself and my good friend Teppy,  it's based on a time frame in my life where I needed to learn some of the most valuable lessons ever. From accepting myself, to losing loved ones and especially finding my FAITH and trusting GOD once again, I incorporated my own metaphors in this screenplay to fit the main character's LIFE , a LIFE that actually happened and continues to be lived by so many out there.  

"Project DTL" found LIFE in 2013 and is being shopped around by me first and foremost so that it can find a good home. It's registered and being looked at by several individuals who can see the vision that was once lived. No matter how long it takes, I'm sticking it through so that many can have the opportunity to see more than what the eye conveys.